So the leaving-do was a lot of fun. Mostly because people were inhaling laughing gas. I kid you not. Here are some photos.
Apparently it's the latest craze. You use a canister like this, that you can buy on the internet.
The cartridges that you put in it contain nitrous oxide. They are designed for making whipped cream.
The spent cartridges 'spling' out like shotgun shells.
It's completely legal. Apparently the high lasts about a minute, but I didn't try it because I'm a pussy.
Computer: I've gone for a Powerbook. Apparently there's no right-click... this is worrying...
Leaving-do: We've gone for the medium-sized pub which is a medium-distance away from the agency. If anyone wants to come, you're very welcome, it's this Thursday at the Windsor Castle, Campden Hill Road, near Notting Hill Gate, London. From lunchtime onwards. The agency is contributing £300 for drinks so if you get there early you can drink for free.
I walk past this cafe every day. The sign proudly proclaims 'Cafe Open'... but that sign is painted and non-removable. In other words, this naughty cafe is claiming to be open 24 hours a day 365 days a year, when in fact it's rather lazy and they often shut up shop at about 5pm. I can't see how I could ever bring myself to have a coffee there. Bunch of liars.
Just got a call from the agency we're joining. Do we want to have a PC or a Mac?
I'm stumped. Obviously Mac is cooler. On the downside, I don't know how to use it. And I have a PC at home. Not sure if that would create a problem or not... anyone know?
So where do you hold the leaving-do? Here's the options, and what I think they mean.
THE CRAPPY OLD PUB THAT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM THE AGENCY: "We're old-school."
THE TRENDY WINE BAR THAT JUST OPENED IN THE NEW SHOPPING CENTRE: "We're new-school."
THE VERY SMALL PUB UP THE ROAD: "We're worried we don't have many friends."
THE OUT-OF-THE ORDINARY OPTION LIKE HIRING A BOAT OR A CLUB OR SOMETHING: "Oh, they're so creative."
NO LEAVING-DO AT ALL: "Extremely worried about lack of friends."
JUST A LUNCH: "Maybe people will come if it's just a lunch."
Well, here's my entry. How on earth did the account team manage to sell this one? (Taken outside Paddington Station, London)
Andrew said...
Good luck to both of you. What are the things a creative wants to know about their new office by the way?
4:58 AM
1. Where is my chair
2. Coffee machine, toilet
3. My computer isn't working. what's the number for I.T.?
4. What can we put in to block out the glass wall so i can pick my nose in peace?
5.What time does everyone arrive and leave? Need to arrive 10 minutes earlier and leave 10 minutes later than the convention. Well, for the first month at least.
6. Where the hell is that guy from I.T.?
7. Where is nearest Pret A Manger
8. Nothing. Don't care at all (this contribution from my partner)
9. Where are the lined pads? And a pen?
10. OK, so let me speak to the head of I.T.
Had my photo in Campaign last week, in connection with our move. Sadly, I looked as friendly as the average serial killer. Nevertheless, getting your photo in Campaign is a must for the ego-driven-monster types like me who work in advertising.
My pet hate is when a creative team moves and Campaign publishes a photo of... the creative directors who hired them.
<-----This is a particularly bad example from a few months ago. The guys in the pic are not poor old Chiappe and Saunby, but the TBWA CD's (now ex CD's) Brooke-Taylor and McTear.
Our creative department has a little tradition of witty resignation letters.
The CD puts them up on his wall.
No pressure.
So I turn to the web. Of course, there's a website now called i-resign.com
Nothing good there though.
<----This was Nixon's.
In the end, ours just said "Yes, we're whores."
Yes, my partner and I are making a huge leap - from one multinational ad agency with three letters in its name to another multinational ad agency with three letters in its name.
Our creative director was kind enough to ask if there was anything he could do to make us stay, but there wasn't really. It's been 7 years. Seven happy years. But it was just time for new challenges.
So perhaps over the next few days I will be blogging about what it's like to leave somewhere and start anew...
1. You have no idea where everyone else in the agency sits
2. You don't know how to use the internet (except me and Copyranter. where the hell is everyone else?)
3. You have no idea how to book a taxi. Or a bike. In fact you are paralysed without a TV producer to plan your every movement and gesture
4. You constantly have to listen to people who have never had an idea in their lives criticise your ideas
5. The account handler asks you to change your script so the client will like it more, the planner asks you to change your script so consumers will like it more, the creative director asks you to change your script so awards juries will like it more. And the client asks you to change your script so it has a longer product sequence at the end. And in the middle. And the beginning. Actually, can we just have the product all the way through. Big. Put a spotlight on it. Some highlights. In fact, why don't we just make it dance? What do you mean yoghurts can't dance?
This is a frozen pizza from the Dr Oetker 'Bistro' range.
The TV ad, which I've put a link to here, concerns a couple who wave away a beret-clad accordion player from their table, on the grounds that their frozen pizza is already French enough.
It includes lines such as "served on a typical French baguette", "so very French", and "Bistro is French enough for me".
Guess what? A super then comes up which says "Made in Germany."
I would have simply sent the brief back.
An ad is supposed to persuade. Get you nodding along in agreement. With insights that chime, because they're true.
There's not much point constructing an argument out of things that aren't true and which nobody agrees with.
"So much for British generosity." What? Whoever said the British were generous? There are a lot of things commonly said about the British. I've never heard 'generous'.
"They've given us a sport nobody understands." You mean the most popular sport in India, right?
"Trains that don't run." Of course! The famous Indian trains that don't run. Not the ones I've seen running - indeed packed - in tons of films and TV programmes.
Here's a fun bus-side I saw in San Francisco.
Couldn't blog much from the U.S. because United sent my luggage to Tokyo so I couldn't use my laptop.
But now that I'm back, here's a few thoughts on differences between the US and UK ad scenes. Feel free to add your own.
1. Interactive advertising is huge over there. It grew 38% year on year. Seems to be second only to TV in importance to agencies now. We are way behind in the UK but it can only go the same way.
2. They don't have separate interactive creatives. Makes sense. I mean, we don't have separate creatives doing posters, for example.
3. All the creatives over there use a Mac for their print layouts. There are no 'scamps'. Not a layout pad to be found. This surely is a mistake. It means creatives are spending time on making something look good, time which they could use to have better ideas. And secondly, when something is presented to the client already 'finished...' it leaves less room for the photographer or illustrator to add their input.
4. The Top 20 UK agencies are all in London. So if you move agencies, you don't have to move house. But of the top 20 US agencies, quite a few are in New York, but others are spread around in LA, San Fancisco, Miami, Chicago, Minneapolis, Portland etc. So getting a new job most likely means uprooting yourself (and your family if you have one). Despite this, people in the U.S. move jobs a lot more often!!
5. A lot of creatives work on just one account. The reason is obvious - accounts over there are huge. But is it a good thing? On the plus side, you'll get to know that business well. But on the downside, I worry it could get dull...
Well, that's my first and totally unoriginal observation about US TV advertising. There's rather a lot of it. And it cuts straight into the programmes. No little pause or flash-frame ident. Straight in. Each ad follows straight into the next one too. Again, no pause. It's an all-out assault of Saving Private Ryan proportions. But I suppose you get used to it.
And the quality? Generally very low. If you think about it, the UK and the US tend to do roughly equally well at award shows around the world. But the US produces about eight times as much advertising. So that means the average quality is...
A lot of the low quality I think is a product of the advertiser trying to say too much. Each ad is trying to put across a brand message and several product messages at the same time, and then finish with a 'deal' or special offer at the end.
Simple stuff like the Mac ads (latest one above) stand out a mile.
Love this Lynx/Axe ad with Ben Affleck. Saw it again on TV here in LA last night.
Except it didn't have Ben Affleck in it.
That's right. A different guy. They obviously filmed the whole thing twice, shot-for-shot, with a different actor.
I can just imagine the conversation between Ben and his agent.
AGENT: "Ben, they want you to do a commercial for Axe. It's two million dollars."
BEN: "Nah, I don't want to do commercials."
AGENT: "It's international only. So it won't be seen by anyone who matters. It will only air in places like, you know, England."
BEN: "Oh, okay. Fine."
It's partly a family holiday, but I'm also having a couple of interviews - one in L.A. and one in San Francisco.
If anyone has worked in both the U.S. and the U.K., I'd love to know how agency life compares.
Hi everyone. Today I'm turning my blog over to "Guest Suit." This person is an Account Handler of my acquaintance, who is going to give us a POV from behind enemy lines, every now and then.
Please feel free to post any abuse or questions.
GUEST SUIT WRITES: So, Steve Henry started at TBWA last week, as the new executive creative director. The hiring has been universally praised. The sentiment is that he may well be capable of filling the shoes of ad land’s most high-profile creative, Trevor Beattie. But why? What is it that makes a great creative director?
Before I begin, I want to tell a story about how one of the top consultants (consultants: AAR and the like), once told me that, when it comes to new business, really the CD is the star of the show. That wherever clients go, they’ll meet charming and charismatic account men, and clever planners, but it’s the CD that sets the distinct impression of an agency. They’re the ‘X-Factor’.
So, what divides the good from the great, I think, is this:
1. They should be high profile – both to attract attention, and so that their POV holds weight;
2. They should have a strong and (ideally) profound point of view;
3. They should have stage-presence – an ability to command the attention of a roomful of people with their conviction and confidence.
4. They should have the respect of both creatives and account teams.
5. They should know when the brief’s wrong but an idea’s right.
So that’s what makes a good CD according to an Account Man. And why’s an account man’s opinion important? Well, let’s not forget who actually hires these CD’s...
Rob over at The Ad-Pit mentions how annoyed he is by the Vauxhall adverts. You know, the ones with the kids behaving like adults.
As he says, the ads are actually quite good. But they have been aired so much, they are now irritating.
I totally agree. Those ads are irritating.
Surely this OTS (Opportunities To See) statistic that media people talk about is wack?
They normally tell you that the OTS for an ad is 3.4 or something. Yet although I don't watch much TV, I seem to see every single ad about 100 times...
J****, an account director at our agency, was in a meeting last week when the client nipped out and called our agency's chairman to say: "I want this guy off my business. Today."
The chairman sent his PA into that meeting and pulled the account director out, and then fired him.
Within 10 minutes of the client's call, J**** had left the building.
To think I joined this business 'cos I heard it was fun...
I've promised Russell Davies that me and my creative buddies are going to whip the world's planners into shape.
The topic is simple: "Six Things Planners Need To Know About Creatives".
(If you're a planner, then by all means contribute to "Six Things Creatives Need To Know About Planners" over on Russell's blog.)
Had breakfast this morning with blog guru, genius planner and (as it turns out) extremely down-to-earth nice guy Rusell Davies.
As many of you will know, Russell has a keen interest in egg, bacon, chips and beans. I hope he liked the fare at Raffles.
The idea was to plan a 'Blogclash', a mooted joint-hosting in which planners and creatives would joust across the blogosphere.
But Russell has enough ideas to fill 100 hours (or indeed 100 posts), so we got pleasantly distracted and didn't get around to cracking the format for this blogclash. I suspect this is partly also because I am bursting with a Larry David-esque exasperation about planning, and Russell is just a lot more laidback and doesn't feel at all vitriolic towards creatives.
His theory is that creatives suffer so much rejection on a daily basis, they need to take it out on someone and that someone tends to be planners! Very neat. Give me a few days, I will think of a snappy come-back.
I love this spoof teleshopping ad, by Mother for Amnesty International, which supposedly advertises AK-47's.
And where did I see it? Sitting at home, before Lord Of War on DVD.
(Trivia: Lord Of War director Andrew Niccol, who also wrote The Truman Show and Gattaca, is a former creative at BBDO London).
Well, England's participation is. And yet the advertising goes on. I've never quite managed to make my mind up about the Budweiser World Cup idents.
The EDF ones are clearly shit, but some of the Bud ones are okay, despite the central flaw in their "You do the football, we'll do the beer premise." After all, if they're not into football, why are they sponsoring it?
(Incidentally, the ad above is a spoof... here are the real ones.)
The ad on the left won a Grand Prix at Cannes this year.
In the 'Outdoor' category!
What really annoys me is I can hear the jury saying "Hey people, look at this, we just gave the Grand Prix to a poster that has 500 words on it! Isn't that just so totally crazy of us?!"
But it's a poor ad. Not a genuine poster. Not a genuine insight about how people look at art. Poorly written. And ugly.
Apart from that, dear reader, I loved it...
How can supposedly intelligent ad agency employees make an ad which is so lame, even a 3 year old thinks it's stupid?
My daughter's verdict on this ad was a simple "Cars don't go in the water, Daddy. They only go on the road."
What's yours?
In a previous post I wondered which advertiser would be the first to jump on the Peter Crouch 'robot' goal celebration. Now we have the answer. It's Citroen. A crappy ad but I still love the track.
Shortly after writing a post called Advertising Works - Unfortunately I have recently come to another blinding realisation. Marketing works too.
You see, we used to give my 3 year old daughter yoghurt. Then she decided she didn't like it. Then we discovered a product called Frubes. She loves it. And what are Frubes? That's right. Yoghurt in a tube.
All they changed was the name, and the packaging... and it worked.
(P.S. it didn't hurt that she saw TV ads featuring some amusing Frubes characters who get their heads ripped off and their insides sucked out).
There's a beautiful ad for Ariston washing machines over at AdBlather. But on texturl.net Brandon Barr points out its close similarity to a campaign for Ecover washing detergent.
Today's Campaign magazine carries a letter pointing out the similarity of the new NSPCC ad to one for T-Mobile, an article describing similarities between a Daily Telegraph and an Observer Sport Monthly campaign, and a whole slew of opinions on that hoary old topic of plagiarism.
For what it's worth, here's mine.
The commandment says "thou shalt not steal" not "thou shalt not steal an idea", so as far as I'm concerned, there's no moral law against it.
But our task is to sell. And if an idea doesn't feel original, it won't be as impactful.
What do you think?
Great post over at The Ad Pit featuring this wonderfully candid piece of communication.
It's a great achievement for a product recall ad to actually make me feel warmer towards a brand.
Why can't all our ads be this honest?
The front page of this week's Campaign magazine announces: "Britvic shifts £.2.5m J2O [an orange juice brand] from BBH to CHI."
CHI wins yet another account. Not big news really. They've gone from start-up to top ten agency in about five years.
But what amazed me was what the story revealed further down.
"Britvic's still-drinks business saw growth of 9 per cent. This was driven by strong sales of... J2O" meanwhile "Britvic reports a 9 per cent slump in sales of its carbonated drinks" many of which (e.g. Tango) are handled by... CHI.
So the agency that was doing well lost the account... to the agency that was doing badly.
Unbelievable.
Until you consider CHI's secret weapon. Johnny Hornby. (That's him in the picture).
To say he's quite an impressive account man would be like saying Brazil are not bad at football.
I've met him a few times. I don't know how he does it, but when he's talking to you... it's like the sun's shining. Clients give him their business because they just want to be around him.
Anyone else have ideas on what makes a good account man?
Every brand is looking to exploit World Cup fever at the moment. And a lot of them are doing it extremely badly.
For example, in the current Morrisons TV advertising, a football bursts through the screen at the end... with absolutely no relevance to the preceding 2 for 1 offer on sausages whatsoever.
If you like the idea of an irrelevant football bursting through the screen, you can see one here on the Morrisons website.
Any other examples of irrelevant football?
Even better than the last one, I think. The animation is great, and the track is a belter.
That's right, folks. Planners don't just ramble, make interesting charts with triangles and oblongs on, and feed biscuits to housewives in return for their fascinating views on washing powder.
They also blog.
Two excellent planning blogs I have found recently areRussell Davies and Northern Planner.
Highly recommended, whatever side of the fence you're on.
No post yesterday, as I was out all afternoon at Maze, Gordon Ramsey's latest restaurant.
Still recovering today.
Not that I'm ungrateful... but why do people in our industry have to celebrate finishing a job by going on a massive bender?
The new campaign for Birds Eye foods, from BBH, is brilliant. The campaign is attempting - I believe successfully - nothing less than a complete re-framing of the public's attitude towards frozen food.
The gist of it is that far from being unhealthy and full of preservatives, frozen foods are actually healthier than fresh foods, because they come to you naturally preserved, rather than deteriorating over a period of days before they reach you, like 'fresh' food.
A campaign like this, which can change the eating habits of a nation, in the service of creating greater sales for a brand, is basically... the holy grail.
Yes, the robot dance is sweeping the nation.
(Note to international readers: England striker Peter Crouch celebrated a goal against Hungary with some fine robotic dancing)
Fans of the consumer-generated content thing may be interested to note that there are over 2,300 mash-up versions of Crouch's dance on YouTube.
Given the instant fame and popularity that Crouch's moves have generated, it's only a matter of time before an advertiser jumps on his little wagon.
Who will be the first?
My bet is Nike, simply because one of their agencies in the UK is Nitrosoul. And the creative director of Nitrosoul is... Peter Crouch's dad, Bruce.
Or perhaps, Lynx - "Can't dance? Lynx"
Any others?
Great new Kit Kat ad. Footage from the 1966 World Cup Final is shown, with Geoff Hurst's infamous 3rd goal which strikes the crossbar, and as England celebrate, Germany are contesting the goal, so the referee goes to the Russian linesman and instead of following the action he is eating a Kit Kat and hasn't seen the controversy. Flustered, he gives England the goal. Then the tagline comes up: "Have a break, have a Kit Kat."
The idea is great, and the execution is brilliant.
What more could you want? Here's the ad, courtesy of fellow Brit ad blogger FishNChimps. Congrats to creative team Colin Jones & Michael Campbell, and director Chris Palmer.
Here's a screen grab from a really bad new TV ad for Danone 'Shape' yoghurt.
My point isn't that the ad is bad though.
It's this: why pay for a celebrity who is so un-famous that you need a super to tell people who they are?
Despite the huge quantities of my life I've spent creating adverts, all the speeches I've given to creative directors... to clients... I had never been able to silence a nagging doubt at the back of my mind... does advertising actually work?
Until now.
Yesterday I was watching TV with my 3 year old daughter.
When an advert for 'Cheestrings' came on, she turned to me and announced: "Daddy, we need Cheestrings."
There it was, the 'desired consumer response' you see on the brief. It was instant. It was sincere. It was desperate.
Of course, as adults we learn to hide it. Or internalise it. But it's still there.
I think...
Does anyone else have secret doubts over whether what we do actually works?
I don't normally do "this ad is really bad" posts.
But this definitely makes the 'so bad it's funny' category.
(Incidentally, it's for a research company)
Great comment from 'writer' on my last post. To save you reading down, this is what he says:
"No-one's teaching creatives to be aggressively creative and no-one's teaching suits to be aggressively suitish... there's a creeping blandness about the business that is dulling the creative edge... The industry needs a bit of standing-on-the-window-ledge aggression from all parties."
Personally, I always believe you're more likely to get your way if you respect people, listen to them, work with them.
But maybe I'm wrong.
So my question today is a simple one - does shouting work?
Last night I was still pondering over something said at our lunch yesterday - why is it that every agency is shit right now?
One possible answer is the lack of start-ups with a commitment to creativity.
The last wave in the UK included shops like Leagas Delaney (that's Tim Delaney in the pic), Rainey Kelly, Howell Henry, Simons Palmer and - more recently - Mother. All great agencies.
The new wave consists of places like CHI, VCCP and DLKW. Very successful business-wise... but their ads smell like three-year old gorgonzola wrapped in a sock.
Plus, no creative start-ups means less pressure on the big agencies to be creative.
Any other theories?
Went out for a pizza with the rest of the creative department today.
Despite the fact that our agency is winning lots of awards, no one is happy.
There's no money around for pay rises, it's getting harder and harder to get work through, every client is demanding multiple routes...
But no one can think of any other agency they'd like to work at either. "They're all shit."
Is there any group of human beings that whinges more than a creative department?
For those who don't know, London's prostitutes place advertisements in the phone boxes here.
Sadly, the standard of creativity is rather low.
But I did see one good one the other day (sorry no pic, my phone doesn't have a camera - it's a cheapo model the company gave me...)
This card had no picture of the lovely lady, and no offer of exotic services. But simply the words "I love my job", and a phone number.
Now who says the art of copywriting is dead?
Yes I know a lot of other bloggers cover bad taglines. But there's plenty to go round.
Ford unveiled their new British endline on TV earlier tonight.
It's "Feel the difference."
Ha ha ha ha. "We're different." You are, are you?
Wow - I must go out and buy one right away!!!!
Here's a suggestion for everyone who uses the word 'different' or 'difference' in their endline: why don't you tell us what makes you different? Cheaper? More economical? etc.
Because just saying you're different isn't enough. It says nothing.
Oh and Ford, by the way, you're not different. You're the ultimate conformist.
So your endline is a total muff-up.
Ahead of tonight's European Cup final, the ironically-named Independent newspaper has an interview with Barcelona playmaker Deco.
At the end of the rather dull article, the following words appear: "Deco trains and performs in UMBRO evolution X clothing and UMBRO Revolution X boots. The technology of the fabrics and style combine to give performers the edge over their competition. To find out more about the latest gear, visit umbro.com or call 0161 492 2222."
Yet it forgets to add "This message brought to you by the marketing robots at Umbro UK Ltd."
Or should that be UMBRO UK Ltd? Though they didn't capitalise the web address... now i'm confused...
Another team here - friends of mine - have written a script for a TV ad. It's an entertaining idea that's very much on brief, and would show off the product nicely. But, how can I put this, it's also silly. Of course, when the account team and the client check the idea against their brief and their target market etc, this problem won't show up.
Shouldn't the final test of every idea be to describe it to a 7 year old boy... to see if he says "but that's just silly"?
You're thinking about a brief when an account man walks in your office and sarcastically says: "Hard at work, I see."
As he's never had an idea in his life he doesn't understand that to think creatively you've quite simply got to put your feet up on the desk (or look out of the window).
No doubt when he comes in and sees me on the phone (talking to friends) or typing (my blog)... that's when he thinks I'm working.
You're searching for that one perfect track... out of all the millions of tracks that have ever been recorded. It's impossible to listen to them all. In other words, you can never be 100% confident that you have the perfect track.
You've got a client whose taste runs the gamut from Katrina and the Waves to KC & The Sunshine Band.
A partner who likes "anything melancholy" (his words).
And a creative director who likes anything - absolutely anything - from within his own record collection.
The only saving grace is that one day I will die. After which, I won't have to look for any more music tracks. Unless of course... that is what awaits me in hell...
(I'd be interested in hearing from someone who does enjoy looking for music.)
It was my art director's birthday today. If there's any account teams reading this, we did a lot of work this afternoon. Oh yes, lots.
OK, so that brief got cancelled. They already have something. Instead, we get a different brief today, for the same client - remember, this is the one that's our agency's most important client, the one that supposedly has our best account team and planners on it. I skim down and thankfully there aren't three propositions in the 'Single-Minded Proposition' bit of the brief. Just the two this time.
Look, all I want to do is write ads and win awards. To do this, my partner and I need to beat all the other teams working on the brief, then the ad needs to be approved by the creative director, the account team, 104 levels of client and 64 research groups, not get fucked up by directors, photographers, editors, actors etc, before finally blowing the balls off the D&AD jury. I don't need all these foreigners entering D&AD making it harder still. The 2006 Nominations just came out. Apparently 61 countries entered. Stop it. Especially if you're American. (The Asian ads I don't mind, they're normally scams or shit.)
Aside from their fashion sense, here's something that really gets my goat about creative directors:
When they creative direct a brief they are also working on.
Gee, I wonder whose work they'll pick... mine, or - just possibly - their own?
Screw Iraq. The government needs to take action on this pressing problem.
Interesting report here on a surprise decline in video-on-demand ratings in the U.S. (found via the excellent AdRants).
Apparently only 0.21% of American TV viewing is now time-shifted (which inevitably means seen with the commercials fast-forwarded), down from 0.24%
So VOD won't kill off TV commercials... and I can continue to feed my family. Hurrah!
It's only bad news for "ad guru" Steve Henry of United. All he ever says nowadays is "video-on-demand will change everything" in a "the-end-is-nigh" kind of tone. He will have to think of something else to say now. (Mind you, his conclusion - that we need to make ads people will actually want to watch - is still valid. But then it always was. The 'TiVo of the mind' - people deciding "this is boring, I will stop paying attention now" is nothing new.)
The new AIDS awareness ad from TBWA Paris is absolutely brilliant. And who knows? It may even encourage some safe sex. Which isn't such a bad thing.
