There's No Such Thing As A Press Ad

I've let a week go by before writing about the Campaign Press Awards... long enough for my anger to dissipate.

That's right, nothing of mine won.

But there were definitely some worthy winners. Here are three of my favourites, which all have something very important in common: they're not press ads.





They're posters, that happened to appear in print.

And this is great.

It's a complete myth that people "have more time" or "are more relaxed" when they're reading newspapers or magazines.

Just because they're sitting in an armchair doesn't mean they're any more interested in commercial messages than when they're driving a car.

You still need to stop people, grab their attention, and reward it.

These ads do that.

Tuesday Tip No.20 - How To Discuss Ideas

This next tip for young creatives is an expansion of a point in Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner, that seemed to strike a chord.

Never say 'no' to one of his ideas. People hate being told no. Instead just say 'yes' in an unconvinced sort of tone. This one really works! Avoid hours and hours worth of arguments!

You see, in discussing ideas (or brainstorming, if you must, although the word sounds like David Brent will be there) they always tell you 'be positive - you should never say no to anything.' But they don't tell you what you should say.

Here's my guide.

What You Want To Say	How To Say It
Brilliant! You've cracked it!	I like it. I like it a lot.
Good, but I think we can do better.	Good.
Strategically sound, but not very interesting.	(neutral tone) Yes, that works.
Interesting, but strategically unsound.	(neutral tone) Interesting.
There may be something good in there, but right now it doesn't work at all.	Interesting, worth developing.
Off-brief, and pretty dull.	(neutral tone) Uh-huh.
Wildly off-brief.	Say that one again?
Still wildly off-brief.	Okay, I get it now.
Incredibly boring.	OK.
Rambling, dull, and uninspiring.	Shall we break for lunch?

Tip No.19 - Read Hugh's Tips
Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job
Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

The Engagement Model

Traditional advertising is dead. The way forward, rather than interrupting consumers, is to create compelling content that they will want to engage with.

Or is it?

Let's look at two examples.

First of all, Qashqai Car Games, created by TBWA.

This is an absolutely brilliant site. They've created an entire fictional sport, a kind of urban Scalextric but with real cars, and created genuinely funny short films profiling some of the events, drivers and teams involved in it. There's so much detail there, and the standard of design, writing and direction are all first-class.

But the site is only the 387, 125th most popular on the internet. In fact there are 17 ad blogs that have more traffic than Qashqai! Its daily reach is just 0.004% of the internet audience. Any media company achieving that kind of reach for its clients in traditional media would surely be fired on the spot.

Secondly, Bud TV. The content on Bud TV is a bit shit. I quite like girls in swimsuits, but even I was struggling to stay awake halfway through the 'exclusive' footage from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Launch Party (Including interviews with the models!) sample model opinion: "I looked up to Christie Brinkley, so to be in this issue is just crazy for me."

Surprise surprise, Bud TV is tanking. The complicated sign-up process is held partly to blame.

But I've got another explanation.

You see, I just don't believe that people who are looking for entertainment want to go to a beer website or a car website to get it. They want to go to an entertainment website, e.g. FHM.com.

Maybe I'm a lone voice in the wilderness here, but just maybe the interruption model is not dead.

I'm sorry that TV airtime has become more expensive, and that mass audiences are harder to reach, I really am.

But the solution is not to create a website that nobody goes to.

The Ad Blog Charts for April 2007

Last month I experimented with basing the charts on links, as measured by Technorati. But I've now decided to go back to my previous method - traffic rankings from Alexa. Why? Well, it's quicker to do, basically. So here we go.

Top 25 Ad Blogs		(world
		ranking)
1     (1)	AdRants	15,547
2     (2)	Advertising/Design Goodness	39,910	↓
3     (3)	AdFreak	40,105
4     (4)	Adverblog	58,427	↓
5     (5)	Adverbox	66,788	↓
6     (9)	Logic + Emotion	86,514	↑
7     (6)	Adland	89,156	↓
8     (7)	Coloribus	125,948
9     (10)	Jaffe Juice	149,095
10   (11)	AdPulp	177,166
11   (8)	Twenty Four	198,861	↓
12   (14)	Experience Curve	208,822
13   (16)	Copyranter	214,430
14   (15)	Beyond Madison Avenue	240,175
15   (13)	How Advertising Spoiled Me	240,363	↓
16   (new)	Hee-Haw Marketing	289,516
17   (18)	Advertising For Peanuts	373,899	↓
18   (19)	AdScam	405,803
19   (25)	Welcome To Optimism	470,913
20   (new)	Hidden Persuader	491,690
21   (new)	Make The Logo Bigger	508,695
22   (17)	American Copywriter	508,726	↓
23   (24)	Ernie Schenck	550,625
24   (23)	Scamp	555,761
25   (21)	BrandFlakes for Breakfast	632,290	↓

The biggest riser, going up 6 places from 25th to 19th, was Wieden & Kennedy's Welcome To Optimism, a fascinating and candid blog, which this month included their controversial report on the Nokia pitch briefing.

In an exciting new feature on the chart, I've added an ↑ if a blog's traffic has gone up by 20% or more in the past month, and a ↓ if it's gone down by 20%.

Lots of ↓'s, you'll notice.

In fact only one blog bucked the trend and increased its traffic by more than 20% over the month - David Armano's ever-interesting Logic + Emotion.

Is the adblogging boom coming to an end?

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs		(world
		ranking)
1   (2)	AdScam	405,803
2   (5)	Welcome To Optimism	470,913
3   (4)	Scamp	555,761
4   (3)	FishNChimps	650,371	↓
5   (6)	Adliterate	800,561	↑
6   (new)	Living Brands	1.01m
7   (9)	Beeker	1.30m	↑
8   (7)	What If...	1.57m
9   (10)	Faris	1.84m	↑
10   (new)	Northern Planner	3.46m

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, so that excludes Gapingvoid. Paul Colman doesn't class Life In The Middle as an ad blog and - in the move that shook the blogosphere - Russell Davies has announced he will no longer blog about advertising, so sadly he's not in either. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

If I've missed anyone out, please tell me and I'll put them in next month.

Mother Placement Competition - The Final Three

I've written before about the competition for Bucks students to win a placement at Mother.

The challenge was to produce a YouTube film, with the original idea being that whoever got the most views would win the placement.

Here are the final three.

The Meat-Off - 7,443 views


Belly Dancers - 1,928 views


Cheap Thrills - 1,151 views


I hear that Mother may now be making the final decision based on 'creative quality' and not number of views. Shame. I rather liked the purity of 'most virally viral wins'.

Scamp On Scamp

My partner's parents have acquired a delightful new dog.

His name? Scamp.

Tuesday Tip No.19 - Read Hugh's Tips

Today's tip for young creatives is very simple.

If you haven't read Hugh's tips on How To Be Creative, do so.


Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job
Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

E-Mail Your Future Self

Have you heard about Futureme.org?

It's a rather nifty website that allows you to send an e-mail to your future self. So far, over 391,000 people have done so.

And of course, the best of them have been collected up into a book.

Myspace Now 11th Largest Country In The World...

...and other interesting facts, in this 'shift happens' web video, found via my friend Damiano's interesting new blog.


P.S. the results of the most recent Friday Poll show that Lord Lever was right.


According to readers of this blog, half of the money spent on advertising is wasted.

Sometimes more! Oh well. It keeps us busy, I suppose.


Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.14 - What Do YOU Do In The Ad-Breaks?
Friday Poll No.13 - Which Department Is The Most Insane?
Friday Poll No.12 - What Music Do You Listen To While Working?
Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Mentos plus... Bitter?

Nice take on the Mentos genre.

Found at Tuff Sheet, a site made by one of London's leading production companies Blink to house their favourite spoofs and virals.

Gwen Gets Job

Great news for Gwen - she has been hired, and by a top agency too, W&K Amsterdam.

Of course, she's documented the interview process in her own unique and wonderful style.

Here she is meeting co-ECD Al Moseley, who she finds very noble.


Meanwhile Al's partner, John Norman, seems to have been pre-warned of her modus operandi.



Congratulations, Gwen! And very best of luck in Amsterdam.

Fetishisation of Doing

I'm belatedly a bit miffed by what Russell wrote in Campaign last week.

Ideas are the easiest, fastest and cheapest things to have in the world. It's getting them made that's hard, and for that you need traffic and production. Ladies and Gentleman, we salute you.

Let me start by joining Russell in saluting traffic and production. You couldn't wish to meet a nicer or more dedicated bunch of people.

But I got to stand up for my peeps. Having ideas is not easier than getting them made. Quite the contrary.

Come on, we're not going to place doing above thinking are we? Like, salute the guy who got Moby Dick to the printer on time, rather than Herman Melville?

Getting things made may look harder because you can actually see a person doing that job, whereas you can't see a creative's or a planner's brain working.

But thinking is still work. Very hard work, in fact. Thinking is not a crime!

I guess Russell knows that really, he's just trying to provoke a response. And he's succeeded, darn it...

Second Life Flooded

Really neat idea this, from Ogilvy.

To highlight the dangers of climate change, they arranged to flood parts of Second Life yesterday.

It's the best use of Second Life so far, I reckon, and a pretty original way to get the message across.

More details here

Tuesday Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising, Part IV

Time for the final installment in this dubiously useful series, which will comprise ten suggestions on How To Turn A Placement Into A Job.

(Of course, placement is not the only way to get a job - you should also be looking for opportunities via friends, headhunters, Cream etc. But it's probably the most common way.)

1. Don't worry if you have been on a placement for a while, and haven't been hired yet. Some people get hired after being on placement at the same agency for up to a year. The rule is 'if you like it, stay'.

2. Unless they explicitly tell you there is no job for you at this agency. In which case make plans to leave straight away.

3. Some people get hired on their first placement. Some people do five, ten or more. Don't worry too much about this. A lot of it is down to luck - you have to do well, which is partly luck, and the agency you are at has to be hiring, which is completely luck.

4. Don't waste your time trying to crack the agency's big showpiece TV brief. These projects take months. Even if an idea of yours does get bought, you will be long gone by then so won't reap the benefits.

5. Be useful. Crack the small, dirty, smelly briefs - the ones that no one else in the department wants to touch.

6. But you've got to do good work too. Useful on its own isn't enough. Useful and good is what's wanted.

7. You should from time to time be doing ads that are good enough for your book. It's very disappointing to see a young team who, after a year of placements, haven't got any 'laminates' - real ads they did in an agency that ran. In fact to be honest it probably indicates some kind of problem.

8. Do the things the existing creatives probably don't do much of: digital, ambient, stunts, that kind of thing. Make the creative director think you offer something new to his department. That's better than just being a cheaper and more inexperienced version of what he already has!

9. Fit in. Go to the agency's bar if they have one, make friends with the other young people about the place. If you fit in well, you're more likely to get hired. That's just human nature. If you don't fit in well, you're probably in the wrong place anyway. E.g. if you wear cavalry twill trousers, Mother isn't for you.

10. In every moment of spare time, you should be working on your book. Why? Because if your current placement doesn't lead to a job, you'll need that book to get another one. And the better your book, the better the agency you can get into. Hey, what are you doing reading this? Go work on your book for Christ's sake!


Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No. 17 - How To Get a Job In Advertising, Part III

So, we've covered the FAQ, and How To Put A Book Together.

The logical next topic is How To Approach Agencies, which I realise I've already covered here.

So without further ado, I'll move straight on to the fourth and last download of whatever paltry knowledge I have about how to get a job in advertising - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job.

Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Nice Wonderbra Ad

Gwen At D&AD Congress

The irrepressible Gwen has been hired by D&AD to report from their Congress.

She spots W&K creative director Tony Davidson giving blogosphere genius Russell the old 'hamster-cheeks' treatment.



And Piyush Pandy of Ogilvy India reminds her of Mr Pringle.



God, but Gwen's drawings crack me up. It's the fact that they're in-jokes, I suppose. In-jokes are always funny.

See it all at the D&AD blog.

How To Get A Placement At Mother

Everything Mother do is pretty good.

But I particularly like their latest idea.

They are offering a placement to a 3rd year team at Bucks College. Each team has to make a YouTube video. And the placement will go to whichever film gets the most views.

Now who says creatives don't care about results?

Here are the films.

• Living with Pro Evolution 6
• Party Popper Russian Roulette
• Kissing a gran
• Up her Nose and Out again...
• The Magic Number 10
• Chew it
• Belly Dancers
• Fit Granny's
• My gran complaining about pigs and ham
• Panto montage
• Lift giving birth
• The meat off
• Cardboard box game
• How to look hot on the dancefloor

via CreativeinLondon

Proof

I thought Nike taking business out of W&K was inexplicable.

But maybe this article explains it (apparently Nike feel Wieden's lacks digital expertise).

I suppose this confirms my advice of yesterday to young creatives (in fact it probably means the advice applies to ALL creatives) -

You've got to be able to do digital.

I mean, who would hire a team that couldn't do, say, print?

Tuesday Tip No. 16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising, Part II

What to put in your portfolio?

Well, the answer to that used to be easy: 8 advertising campaigns, each consisting of 3 print ads, plus maybe an ambient execution or a TV storyboard (so long as it had no dialogue, of course.)

And such was the way it was for, ooh, years.

But it's all changed now. If your book still looks like that, you're doing it wrong.

Why? Because creative directors have gone digital crazy, that's why.

Most creative directors are surprisingly clued-up about digital. Remember, they're closer to the 'business' side of the business than rank-and-file creatives are - they know full well that clients are now demanding their agency start delivering great work in non-traditional media.

And as well as re-training their existing creatives, they're looking to the new generation to give it to them.

You must be that new generation. Your book must show compelling examples of how brands can exploit the digital space.

Heck, maybe your book shouldn't even be a book, but a website or a CD.

(Having said all this, you've got to show you can do all the traditional media as well. So yes, your 'book' still needs to have lots of great print work, and the odd TV ad, if you want a job in a so-called above-the-line agency).

But more and more you need to demonstrate how to reach consumers in new ways. That means new media, events, ideas for mobile games, TV shows, crazy shit... maybe even new products.

And above all, digital.

ADDENDUM. In case it's useful information for any young teams out there, the most recent student book that my partner and I have recommended to the creative director here looked like this: 9 campaigns, with a total of 21 print ads, 2 TV ads, 6 digital executions, and 31 (!) executions that are ambient/ new products/ crazy shit. Maybe there were a few too many of those. But you get the idea.

Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Mr. Deity

Many of us, as part of our jobs, are being tasked with creating fun & interesting digital content.

Content like this.

Now, if only there was a way to twist this round for some brand...

Thanks to Dr. Rogers for the tip

Friday Poll

Lord Lever famously said half his advertising didn't work.

A few years later, a more recent Unilever boss (Niall Fitzgerald) upped the figure to 90% (quoted in a nice paper of Jon Howard's.)

So what about your record?

Has everything you've touched turned to gold?

Or have you clawed your way up the greasy pole by doing brilliantly creative campaigns for products that bombed in the shops?

Of course, there are many many ways to measure effectiveness. What we're interested in here is something (necessarily) quite loose - your own personal view of how many of the campaigns you've been involved with have actually worked.

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

The result of last week's poll was very reassuring for the future of advertising.

During the ad-breaks, the most common activity undertaken by readers of this blog is... watching the ads.

Unless you're just watching them out of professional interest?

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.13 - Which Department Is The Most Insane?
Friday Poll No.12 - What Music Do You Listen To While Working?
Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Ad Blog Charts

Here's the Ad Blog Charts for March.

This time I've used Technorati rather than Alexa rankings, in other words it's based on number of links rather than traffic (incidentally Technorati also only ranks blogs, not websites in general).

A better method, do you think, or not?

The results are not amazingly dissimilar to last time, though some of the planners blogs have gone a bit higher - which sees Faris and Adliterate enter the chart. Congrats to them.


Top 25 Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	AdRants	627
2	Advertising/Design Goodness	1,117
3	AdFreak	1,761
4	Adverblog	2,368
5	Jaffe Juice	3,040
6	Logic + Emotion	3,199
7	Russell Davies	3,564
8	Adverbox	3,615
9	Hee-Hawmarketing	4,640
10	Adland	5,679
11	Twenty Four	6,695
12	How Advertising Spoiled Me	8,096
13	AdPulp	10,244
14	Advertising For Peanuts	12,209
15	Hidden Persuader	12,443
16	Experience Curve	14,192
17	Copyranter	14,442
18	Adliterate	15,698
19	Beyond Madison Avenue	15,826
20	Coloribus	16,999
21	American Copywriter	17,483
22	Faris	20,003
23	Welcome To Optimism	23,037
24	Ad Hunt	25,029
25	Make The Logo Bigger	27,360

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	Russell Davies	3,564
2	Adliterate	15,698
3	Faris	20,003
4	Welcome To Optimism	23,037
5	Beeker	39,283
6	Scamp	44,415
7	FishNChimps	50,863
8	AdScam	51,657
9	What If...	65,053
10	Gwen Yip	90,536

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, hence no Gapingvoid. Paul Colman requested Life In The Middle not be classed as an ad blog, so Paul is not there. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

No doubt I've missed one out. Do let me know and I'll put it in next month.

Unintentionally The Funniest Book Ever

I've recently finished "Open Minds. 21st Century Business Lessons and Innovations from St. Luke's" by Andy Law.

It is quite possibly the funniest book ever written.

Life at St Luke's was clearly bonkers.

And yet they took it all completely seriously.

At their awayday, every member of staff had to give a speech.

To make himself uncomfortable, as he was used to speaking publicly, David Abraham stripped off. Almost naked, literally, he exposed to us all the deep feelings he had about the company.

Meanwhile, someone asks Head of Planning John Grant if he is happy.

Happiness is a static point along the path of fulfillment. At any one point I can declare myself happy, but still feel there is more to fulfil... for example, I am happy now, because I am eating my breakfast, but my day is as yet unfulfilled.

Surely there's enough material for a comic novel in all this...

The King

No Friday poll yesterday, I'm on a short break in Morocco, so I'll keep it running for another week.

This is an interesting and beautiful place.

On the roads out of the airport, there are many large posters of the King, in a sort of 'welcome to my country' pose.

Wonderful.

Made me think... shouldn't there be huge posters of the Queen as you come out of Heathrow? Or perhaps Tony Blair?

I Just Love To Rent Guns

Disturbing.

Who Can Speak On Shoots

Minor bust-up over at the always-interesting Northern Planner.

He remembers:

as a young account exec (with hair!) I was told that my job was to keep the client away from the director at all costs. Any queries absolutely had to go through the producer. It said a fair bit about highly strung directors as far as I was concerned

My reply:

Here are some of the people you will typically find on a shoot:

production company producer, agency producer, copywriter, art director, client, account handler, sound man, lighting cameraman, actors, hair person, make-up person, wardrobe person, 1st AD, 2nd AD, 3rd AD, runner, another runner, gaffer, assistant gaffer, camera assistant, production designer, production designer's assistant, spark, assistant spark, carpenter, assistant carpenter, catering chief, catering assistant... there's more but you get the idea.

This is why not everyone can talk to the director.

It slightly annoys me that account handlers think it's laughable that they have to 'go through the producer'.

A lot of people on a shoot have to go through someone else to get to the director.

It's a numbers thing, that's all.

Who is right?

Well, obviously I am. But what do you think?

Tuesday Tip No.15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising, Part I

Okay, I've decided to tackle the big one.

And it is a big one, so I'm going to break it down into several parts.

First of all, I might as well answer the most commonly asked questions, because the answer is really very easy.

I've only just left college, is it worth me contacting the headhunters?

Yes

What about schemes like Cream, The Book Club, and the Diageo Scheme, are they worth applying to?

Yes

Is it better to work on my book, or try to get placements?

Do both

Okay I've got a placement. Is it better to work hard in the agency I'm at and try to get a job here, or keep working on my book and go for jobs wherever they come up?

Do both

Is it better to see small agencies or big agencies? Multinationals or hotshops? Lots of different agencies or repeated visits to the ones we like best?

All of the above.

In short, why would you not do something that could help you? Do it all.

Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Off Topic But Hilarious

Adam Buxton's interpretation of a sign language interpreter.

Friday Poll - What Do You Do When The Adverts Come On?

When a chicken plucker comes home at night, the last thing he wants to have for dinner is chicken.

Do you avoid adverts in the same way?

Or are you so addicted to brand communications that you talk doing the programmes, and shut up during the breaks?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

The result of last week's poll reveals that readers of this blog believe Account Handlers to be the least sane people in our industry. Poor Suits. Were they sane when they went in, I wonder, and only gradually got driven mad by a ceaseless stream of Client 'requests', and the stress of 'dealing with' Creatives? Or were they bonkers to begin with?

Who knows.


Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.12 - What Music Do You Listen To While Working?
Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The 10 Biggest Cocks In Advertising

Oh my days this is funny.

Swearing is funny. Fact.

David Beckham - Emotion In Advertising

The new adidas David Beckham ad broke last night. I think it's great.

Why? Because he's not afraid to show his emotions.

Nothing's more powerful than genuine emotion (or harder to elicit from sports stars - hats off to 180 Amsterdam for getting it).

Makes me wonder why we don't use emotion more. After all, most purchasing decisions are emotionally not rationally driven. David Bonney is building up a collection of sad/ emotional ads. Maybe that will help.

P.S. the last time I got a bit emotional myself was... earlier this morning, when I watched an entire ad break from 1982 over at FishNChimps. Oh, the nostalgia. Worth visiting. Chimpy writes a nice commentary on it too.

Tuesday Tip No.14 - Make Friends With Traffic

When I was first starting out, I asked a senior creative - "Who's it better to be really in with - the Account Handlers or the Planners?"

His reply - "Traffic."

Of course you should make friends with everybody. But especially make friends with Traffic (or Progress, Workflow, Project Management, they go by different names in different agencies).

Here's 5 reasons why.

1. They know when the good briefs are coming up. If they like you, they might even give you one of them.

2. If you like gossip (and let's face it, you do) they can tell you who is about to be fired, who is bunking up with who, etc.

3. They know which juicy brief a senior team is struggling on. Prepare to jump in.

4. It will do you good to talk to someone who isn't called Tarquin or Julian for a change.

5. They can, if asked nicely, give you more of the most precious commodity of all. Time.

So make friends with Traffic. It's really worth it.

Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

World's Wittiest Copywriter?

Saw an old movie over the weekend - Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House - in which advertising copywriter Cary Grant experiences mildly amusing difficulties with builders.

But there's a rather more amusing (for us) subplot, in which Grant is required to come up with a slogan for a ham product called 'Wham'.

The deadline? Well, he's given six months to come up with the idea. That's right, folks, six months.

Second, it seems that no campaign idea or even a visual is needed. Nope, just a slogan. No 360 degree thinking in 1948, no Sir, no way.

And the winning tagline? It springs fully-formed from the mouth of the family's black maid (!)

"If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham."

Friday Poll - March Madness

Techno! Techno! Techno! Techno!

The result of last week's poll shows that Dance music is the most popular kind for readers of this blog to listen to at work.

I don't know if this means you're all very young, or very trendy. No doubt both.

In second place, was No Music. Perhaps these people work (or are trying to) just down the hall from the aforementioned?


This week's poll, as we enter the month of March, is about madness.

Which department is the most cracked?

Is it those crazy Creatives - or are they merely faking madness in a bid to appear creative?

Or is it the Planners who are insane, as all clever people in Hollywood movies have to be?

Or are Account Handlers the crazy ones, for taking a job where they get treated like s*** the whole time?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Communications Past Their Use-By Date

Going through the 2005 D&AD Annual the other day, I found this Tesco ad.


Remarkable to think that, only a couple of years ago, Tesco were boasting their peas are flown in from Guatemala.

Going back further, check out these hilarious Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974 (via Rachel L).

This one depicts that delicious snack, frozen coffee.


There's no doubting it.

95% of what we do is going to end up looking very funny, or very weird.

Angryman

Discovered a great new blog via Life In The Middle called YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD in which the writer, who styles himself 'Angryman', has a good old pop at bus drivers, junk mail, dentists... basically anyone who pisses him off.

He also quotes this wonderfully funny urban myth of rage.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window. .. so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Don Hansen.."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Tuesday Tip No.13 - Get Reference

You had the idea, so you know what the ad will look like. But no one else does. That means everyone will start visualising it in their own individual way, and might start arguing for it to be executed in their own individual way. You don't want that. You want it your way.

So get reference.

If people don't know what your ad is going to look like, they might not understand it quite as well as they should, so they might not like it as much as they should, so they might fail to sell it / buy it.

Get reference.

Some of the people you present your ideas to are perfectly capable of visualising from a script or scamp. But some aren't. There are lots of people in this business who are great at marketing or strategy or account handling but who couldn't visualise a red arse unless you show them a picture of somebody being spanked. (This doesn't make them bad people, incidentally. They just need your help.)

Get reference.

All right, Scamp, you've convinced me. I'll get hold of a piece of film or something. But not just yet. I'll get it when the idea is about to go to client, okay?

No. Get it now. John Webster never showed any idea to anybody without reference. From the very beginning of the process, he made people 'see it' - and he made them see it his way.

Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

An Ad Director Writes

It was the Oscars last night. A place where many ad directors hope to end up walking on stage. Sadly, none did this time.

But despite the cliche definition of a commercials director - person who can snort a line of coke thicker than their ponytail - most of them do actually care very deeply about film.

A director called Wayne writes an interesting blog.

My favourite post is his most recent one, a very astute critique of the film Babel.

Wayne totally nails the film's lack of emotional truth.

Sorry, Brad.

Friday Poll No.10

The big hand is on the 12. The little hand is on the 9. And already, nearly 40% of readers of this blog are at their desks.

Impressive.

As for the 10 readers who stroll in after 10am... are you guys hiring? Let me know if you are.


This week's poll, suggested by the fabulous Rob M, asks what is your favourite sort of music to work to?

Do you play classical music to increase your productivity, like farmers do to their cows?

Or do you 'rock out' to, er, Robbie Williams or something?

Or are you a member of the "Would you please turn that racket down, some of us are trying to think!" brigade.

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.10 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.8 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Ad Blog Charts

The guys at Beyond Madison Avenue used to produce a chart of the Top 25 Advertising Blogs, but they've stopped.

Being (long ago) the geeky kid obsessed with the pop charts, I asked if they'd mind me reviving it. They said okay, so here it is.


Top 25 Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	AdRants	15,085
2	Advertising/Design Goodness	24,249
3	AdFreak	40,990
4	Adverblog	47,712
5	Adverbox	49,824
6	Adland	58,696
7	Coloribus	76,062
8	Twenty Four	79,243
9	Logic + Emotion	104,241
10	Jaffe Juice	143,016
11	AdPulp	160,801
12	Russell Davies	162,185
13	How Advertising Spoiled Me	186,987
14	Experience Curve	207,549
15	Beyond Madison Avenue	225,279
16	Copyranter	241,982
17	American Copywriter	250,615
18	Advertising For Peanuts	295,202
19	AdScam	384,282
20	FishNChimps	423,089
21	BrandFlakes for Breakfast	437,689
22	AdVerb	476,912
23	Scamp	537,700
24	Ernie Schenck	541,301
25	Welcome To Optimism	553,748

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	Russell Davies	162,185
2	AdScam	384,282
3	FishNChimps	423,089
4	Scamp	537,700
5	Welcome To Optimism	553,748
6	Adliterate	1.21m
7	What If...	1.45m
8	Gwen Yip	2.88m
9	Beeker	2.89m
10	Faris	2.89m

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, so that excludes Gapingvoid and Life In The Middle. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

No doubt I've missed a few out that should be on there. Do let me know and I'll put them in next time I do it.

Tuesday Tip No.12 - Don't Stop

Coming up with ideas is hard work.

Therefore, when you are doing it, the temptation to stop is always strong.

Yes! Got something - hurrah!

Now we can check our e-mails and call our friends.

Don't.

Look, I know the feeling, believe me. What we do is bloody hard work. And as soon as you have something that works, the desire to down tools can be overwhelming.

So you find yourself ignoring the little voice in your head. The one that says "it's a bit like that other ad from last year" / "it can also be interpreted as meaning x, which is the exact opposite to what we want to say" / "it works but it's only OK".

Don't ignore that little voice. If you know in your heart of hearts that there's a problem with the idea, it's pretty much certain that your creative director is going to think there's a problem with the idea.

Though it may be painful, keeping going is the right thing to do.

Consider taking a break instead, or work on something else for a little bit.

But never stop.



Okay, you will have to stop eventually.

But not yet.

Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

No Friday Poll Today

Most people in Uruguay can´t afford computers, so Montevideo is full of internet cafes, which are full of screaming kids playing GTA San Andreas and Counterstrike.

So it´s too hard to sort out a new poll - I´m going to leave the current one up for another week.

Along with a plea.

Please, all you eager-beaver early-risers, stop voting! You´re making me feel terrible.

World´s Loudest Advertising Vehicle

Here in Montevideo, the citizens with any purchasing power are concentrated in only a few neighbourhoods.

Therefore one of the best advertising vehicles to target them... is literally an advertising vehicle.

A car drives around our neighbourhood twice a day - with speakers on top - broadcasting commercials.

It´s like a giant radio driving down the street.

Scamp In Uruguay

Translation: No one else is going to come along and do your work for you. (It´s for headache pills) Agency: Y&R Montevideo

Sorry about no posts for the last couple of days - I´m visiting my Dad in Uruguay.

Montevideo is an odd place. Once grand, now somewhat decayed.

Most people are earning 10 or 20 dollars a day. God knows how they react to the international L´Oreal and Chanel ads pumped out on the TV... they seem from another world.

Friday Poll - What Time Do You Get In?

In last week's poll, readers of this blog concluded by a narrow margin that Online advertising beats Press.

David Abbott would be spinning in his grave. Except he's still alive.


The poll of two weeks ago revealed that we are all drunk every night. That set me wondering... what time do you get to work in the morning?

Are you an eager beaver, at your desk and already looking at the usual websites before 9am?

Or are you the rock star who rolls in after 10, soy-milk latte in hand?

Or are you somewhere in the middle? If so, where?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Racist Or Funny?

Australia Day was 26th Jan. so apologies for the belated topicality... the anti-racist Miss Great Britain release of two days ago (scroll down) made me think of this.

Basically, the Meat & Livestock Commission produce an Australia Day film every year, to get Aussies eating lamb rather than 'Unaustralian' alternatives like tofu.

But are the ads racist?

Quite a few YouTube commenters think so. Do you?

Here's last year's first of all...



And now the 2007 one.

Tuesday Tip No.11 - Be Very

Most ads have a quite nice visual, a quite nice headline, some quite nice dialogue, if it's TV.

Don't do that.

Why be like 'most ads'?

Make your ad extreme. If it's dialogue-based, double the amount of dialogue and cut out everything else. If it's visual-based, lose the headline, make the visual as big as possible. If it's visual, make it very visual. If it's logical, make it very logical. If it's emotional, make it very emotional.

In short, be very.

Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish