Okay, just to even things up...
1. We worked all weekend on this
2. It just won’t make sense as a 30 - it has to be a 40, at least. A 60 would be best
3. I really wish I could squeeze it in, but we're swamped with work right now
4. I was stuck in traffic
5. I never got that e-mail
7. You'll have it by 3pm
8. Your brief is our No.1 priority
9. But it IS on brief
10. We tried the changes you suggested - it just didn't work
Again we thank Creative Beef.
If you're feeling confessional, add your own in the comments below...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Top Ten ‘Lies Creatives Tell’
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42 comments:
Look, i respect your opinion but...
The idea is completely original, I haven't looked at You Tube for months
That's a great idea
I've probably written about 20 different scripts on this now, and this is definitely the best way to go...
I didn't just do a wank in the toilets.
I can't create until Jupiter is in ascension.
It wasn't me who left the sexist/racist/pedophilic comment on Scamp.
"Top Ten 'Lies Planners Tell'"
1. This insight is unique to the product.
2. Planning is worth something besides making the creative sell.
3. Planners can be just as creative too.
4. Looking at blogs all day is cultural research.
5. That idea is good. But it doesn't fit the 'strategy.'
6. Only planners can come up with an insight.
7. It is your task to fill in numbers 8, 9, and 10. I did most of the work already and it should be easy.
8. __________.
9. __________.
10. __________.
i didn't fuck your sister.
I appreciate that this campaign has got to get the best ROI for the client and I'm not just trying to produce creative that will win me an award.
I'm not interested in awards.
'A D&AD Pencil? No I haven't got one. And I'm really not bothered'
Afraid we can't see any reels at the moment - we're stacked.
But none of those lies, I use all of those most days.
George.
WHAT DO YOU DO, to be aable to comment all day long on blogs?
Work my notice.
"Yes, George. 2am's director's sound great. Unfortunately I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks, so if you ring back then, we can try and put something in the diary."
Obviously to be repeated in a couple of weeks' time.
"We looked for stock. Nothing worked."
"Crispin said they were very interested, they just didn't have anything right now."
"It IS bigger."
"Just because you didn't see the logo in the top left corner doesn't mean consumers won't."
"It said so in the brief."
"I don't bother to read award show books. The last thing I want to see is more advertising."
And the all time, #1, top-of-the-charts, Alan-is-purposely-being-really-corny winner is this gem:
"I hate advertising. That's why I got into it - because I hate it so much I figured it couldn't be that hard to improve on what's out there."
"we don't do ads"
W+K. Creative 2008
The only time we can go to wave to do the dub is at lunchtime.
number on lie:
of course you contributed to the idea
number 2 lie:
Sorry, I can't have drinks with you, my mom is dying again!
:-))
oh and another one
your brief was really full of inspiration
and one more:
I am so happy here, why would i want to work at Fallon???
πέραντου διαστήματος που απλώνεται ανάμεσα στη χαρά της ζωής και την θλίψη εντός
This is a dead simple idea. It was actually sparked off by that sentence you wrote in the brief about "the product being all about the me-moment"
I think the logo is defintely big enough
No, of course that's not a Chec/ South African receipt from a strip club/whore house/crack den.
It doesn't need an endline.
We have plenty more footage in the can.
If it has a logo people will know it's an ad so they won't look at it. So, no logo; more impact.
Please, you do the bodycopy. You're so much better at it than we are.
i have it!
"Yeah, guys...erm...we're too busy to see you anytime this week."
"We just want five minutes of your time."
"Yeah, no, erm, yeah...we really can't...we're too busy"
HOW!? HOW ARE YOU TOO FUCKING BUSY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO LOOK THROUGH A PORTFOLIO YOU PRICK!!?!? DON'T BE THE PLACEMENT TEAM IF YOU ARE, YOU RETARDS.
Thanks.
No, (insert CDs name) you're absolutely right.
On a similar theme, here is what clients say... and what they really mean.
Sorry it's taken me such a long time to get back to you, I've been in meetings all day. (I've been avoiding your calls)
The marketing director doesn't think it's working hard enough (I don't like it)
It's not quite on brand (the logo's not big enough)
Are you sure word x is better than word y? (I'll keep umming and ahhing about this until 2minutes before the final deadline and you have no choice but to do it my way because your CD will be out the office/in a meeting)
Can I speak to the planner? (you're the account manager guy, you couldn't possibly understand)
:)
Scamp i really don't care if i get a link on your blog!
Carb
Lies creatives tell on blogs -
I really fucking hate that ad
@ I'm not bitter
Why are you trying to get crits from placement teams?
@carb free
Mr Spock's father back on the planet Vulcan just cringed.
I really like the Gorilla Ad.
"I like Sony Balls of my own free will, not simply because everyone else likes it and to disagree would make me look stupid."
- the client want something that will really shake up the whole industry and win us all fuck loads of awards.
- of course I didn't throw in some of my own lines without telling anyone,because the client really wants us to do exactly what it says on the tin.
RE: Last post. Sorry. I'm a creative. I'm drunk. Commented on wrong post. If I was an account handler, I'm sure I would have been able to blag myself out of this situation somehow.
"No seriously. We worked it out. It's actually cheaper to charter a yacht for the weekend than it is to stay in the hotel!"
"I think that's a really insightful piece of feedback, and I'm going to go away and really think about it."
quite strangely, this one made me less laugh than the accounts one :o)
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