Thursday, September 25, 2008

Top Ten ‘Lies Creatives Tell’

Okay, just to even things up...

1. We worked all weekend on this

2. It just won’t make sense as a 30 - it has to be a 40, at least. A 60 would be best

3. I really wish I could squeeze it in, but we're swamped with work right now

4. I was stuck in traffic

5. I never got that e-mail

7. You'll have it by 3pm

8. Your brief is our No.1 priority

9. But it IS on brief

10. We tried the changes you suggested - it just didn't work

Again we thank Creative Beef.

If you're feeling confessional, add your own in the comments below...

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Look, i respect your opinion but...

Anonymous said...

The idea is completely original, I haven't looked at You Tube for months

Anonymous said...

That's a great idea

Anonymous said...

I've probably written about 20 different scripts on this now, and this is definitely the best way to go...

Anonymous said...

I didn't just do a wank in the toilets.

Anonymous said...

I can't create until Jupiter is in ascension.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't me who left the sexist/racist/pedophilic comment on Scamp.

Anonymous said...

"Top Ten 'Lies Planners Tell'"

1. This insight is unique to the product.
2. Planning is worth something besides making the creative sell.
3. Planners can be just as creative too.
4. Looking at blogs all day is cultural research.
5. That idea is good. But it doesn't fit the 'strategy.'
6. Only planners can come up with an insight.
7. It is your task to fill in numbers 8, 9, and 10. I did most of the work already and it should be easy.
8. __________.
9. __________.
10. __________.

Anonymous said...

i didn't fuck your sister.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate that this campaign has got to get the best ROI for the client and I'm not just trying to produce creative that will win me an award.

Anonymous said...

I'm not interested in awards.

Anonymous said...

'A D&AD Pencil? No I haven't got one. And I'm really not bothered'

George said...

Afraid we can't see any reels at the moment - we're stacked.

Anonymous said...

But none of those lies, I use all of those most days.

Anonymous said...

George.

WHAT DO YOU DO, to be aable to comment all day long on blogs?

George said...

Work my notice.

carty said...

"Yes, George. 2am's director's sound great. Unfortunately I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks, so if you ring back then, we can try and put something in the diary."

Obviously to be repeated in a couple of weeks' time.

Alan Wolk said...

"We looked for stock. Nothing worked."

"Crispin said they were very interested, they just didn't have anything right now."

"It IS bigger."

"Just because you didn't see the logo in the top left corner doesn't mean consumers won't."

"It said so in the brief."

"I don't bother to read award show books. The last thing I want to see is more advertising."

And the all time, #1, top-of-the-charts, Alan-is-purposely-being-really-corny winner is this gem:

"I hate advertising. That's why I got into it - because I hate it so much I figured it couldn't be that hard to improve on what's out there."

Anonymous said...

"we don't do ads"

W+K. Creative 2008

Anonymous said...

The only time we can go to wave to do the dub is at lunchtime.

provato said...

number on lie:

of course you contributed to the idea

number 2 lie:

Sorry, I can't have drinks with you, my mom is dying again!


:-))

provato said...

oh and another one

your brief was really full of inspiration


and one more:

I am so happy here, why would i want to work at Fallon???

Anonymous said...

πέραντου διαστήματος που απλώνεται ανάμεσα στη χαρά της ζωής και την θλίψη εντός

Anonymous said...

This is a dead simple idea. It was actually sparked off by that sentence you wrote in the brief about "the product being all about the me-moment"

Anonymous said...

I think the logo is defintely big enough

Anonymous said...

No, of course that's not a Chec/ South African receipt from a strip club/whore house/crack den.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't need an endline.

We have plenty more footage in the can.

If it has a logo people will know it's an ad so they won't look at it. So, no logo; more impact.

Please, you do the bodycopy. You're so much better at it than we are.

facu said...

i have it!

I'm not bitter about you bunch of twats. said...

"Yeah, guys...erm...we're too busy to see you anytime this week."

"We just want five minutes of your time."

"Yeah, no, erm, yeah...we really can't...we're too busy"

HOW!? HOW ARE YOU TOO FUCKING BUSY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO LOOK THROUGH A PORTFOLIO YOU PRICK!!?!? DON'T BE THE PLACEMENT TEAM IF YOU ARE, YOU RETARDS.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

No, (insert CDs name) you're absolutely right.

kiki said...

On a similar theme, here is what clients say... and what they really mean.

Sorry it's taken me such a long time to get back to you, I've been in meetings all day. (I've been avoiding your calls)

The marketing director doesn't think it's working hard enough (I don't like it)

It's not quite on brand (the logo's not big enough)

Are you sure word x is better than word y? (I'll keep umming and ahhing about this until 2minutes before the final deadline and you have no choice but to do it my way because your CD will be out the office/in a meeting)

Can I speak to the planner? (you're the account manager guy, you couldn't possibly understand)

:)

Carb Free Creativity said...

Scamp i really don't care if i get a link on your blog!

Carb

Anonymous said...

Lies creatives tell on blogs -

I really fucking hate that ad

]-[appy Thought said...

@ I'm not bitter

Why are you trying to get crits from placement teams?

Anonymous said...

@carb free
Mr Spock's father back on the planet Vulcan just cringed.

Anonymous said...

I really like the Gorilla Ad.

Fyffe tinkerton said...

"I like Sony Balls of my own free will, not simply because everyone else likes it and to disagree would make me look stupid."

Anonymous said...

- the client want something that will really shake up the whole industry and win us all fuck loads of awards.
- of course I didn't throw in some of my own lines without telling anyone,because the client really wants us to do exactly what it says on the tin.

Anonymous said...

RE: Last post. Sorry. I'm a creative. I'm drunk. Commented on wrong post. If I was an account handler, I'm sure I would have been able to blag myself out of this situation somehow.

Anonymous said...

"No seriously. We worked it out. It's actually cheaper to charter a yacht for the weekend than it is to stay in the hotel!"

reuben said...

"I think that's a really insightful piece of feedback, and I'm going to go away and really think about it."

gromechant said...

quite strangely, this one made me less laugh than the accounts one :o)