Angryman

Discovered a great new blog via Life In The Middle called YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD in which the writer, who styles himself 'Angryman', has a good old pop at bus drivers, junk mail, dentists... basically anyone who pisses him off.

He also quotes this wonderfully funny urban myth of rage.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window. .. so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Don Hansen.."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Tuesday Tip No.13 - Get Reference

You had the idea, so you know what the ad will look like. But no one else does. That means everyone will start visualising it in their own individual way, and might start arguing for it to be executed in their own individual way. You don't want that. You want it your way.

So get reference.

If people don't know what your ad is going to look like, they might not understand it quite as well as they should, so they might not like it as much as they should, so they might fail to sell it / buy it.

Get reference.

Some of the people you present your ideas to are perfectly capable of visualising from a script or scamp. But some aren't. There are lots of people in this business who are great at marketing or strategy or account handling but who couldn't visualise a red arse unless you show them a picture of somebody being spanked. (This doesn't make them bad people, incidentally. They just need your help.)

Get reference.

All right, Scamp, you've convinced me. I'll get hold of a piece of film or something. But not just yet. I'll get it when the idea is about to go to client, okay?

No. Get it now. John Webster never showed any idea to anybody without reference. From the very beginning of the process, he made people 'see it' - and he made them see it his way.

Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

An Ad Director Writes

It was the Oscars last night. A place where many ad directors hope to end up walking on stage. Sadly, none did this time.

But despite the cliche definition of a commercials director - person who can snort a line of coke thicker than their ponytail - most of them do actually care very deeply about film.

A director called Wayne writes an interesting blog.

My favourite post is his most recent one, a very astute critique of the film Babel.

Wayne totally nails the film's lack of emotional truth.

Sorry, Brad.

Friday Poll No.10

The big hand is on the 12. The little hand is on the 9. And already, nearly 40% of readers of this blog are at their desks.

Impressive.

As for the 10 readers who stroll in after 10am... are you guys hiring? Let me know if you are.


This week's poll, suggested by the fabulous Rob M, asks what is your favourite sort of music to work to?

Do you play classical music to increase your productivity, like farmers do to their cows?

Or do you 'rock out' to, er, Robbie Williams or something?

Or are you a member of the "Would you please turn that racket down, some of us are trying to think!" brigade.

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.10 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.8 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Ad Blog Charts

The guys at Beyond Madison Avenue used to produce a chart of the Top 25 Advertising Blogs, but they've stopped.

Being (long ago) the geeky kid obsessed with the pop charts, I asked if they'd mind me reviving it. They said okay, so here it is.


Top 25 Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	AdRants	15,085
2	Advertising/Design Goodness	24,249
3	AdFreak	40,990
4	Adverblog	47,712
5	Adverbox	49,824
6	Adland	58,696
7	Coloribus	76,062
8	Twenty Four	79,243
9	Logic + Emotion	104,241
10	Jaffe Juice	143,016
11	AdPulp	160,801
12	Russell Davies	162,185
13	How Advertising Spoiled Me	186,987
14	Experience Curve	207,549
15	Beyond Madison Avenue	225,279
16	Copyranter	241,982
17	American Copywriter	250,615
18	Advertising For Peanuts	295,202
19	AdScam	384,282
20	FishNChimps	423,089
21	BrandFlakes for Breakfast	437,689
22	AdVerb	476,912
23	Scamp	537,700
24	Ernie Schenck	541,301
25	Welcome To Optimism	553,748

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	Russell Davies	162,185
2	AdScam	384,282
3	FishNChimps	423,089
4	Scamp	537,700
5	Welcome To Optimism	553,748
6	Adliterate	1.21m
7	What If...	1.45m
8	Gwen Yip	2.88m
9	Beeker	2.89m
10	Faris	2.89m

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, so that excludes Gapingvoid and Life In The Middle. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

No doubt I've missed a few out that should be on there. Do let me know and I'll put them in next time I do it.

Street Art Or Advertising?

I don't know. Maybe that's why I like it.

Too much advertising is too closed-ended, and therefore boring.

Apparently this image has been around a bit, I got it from the excellent tcritic.

Tuesday Tip No.12 - Don't Stop

Coming up with ideas is hard work.

Therefore, when you are doing it, the temptation to stop is always strong.

Yes! Got something - hurrah!

Now we can check our e-mails and call our friends.

Don't.

Look, I know the feeling, believe me. What we do is bloody hard work. And as soon as you have something that works, the desire to down tools can be overwhelming.

So you find yourself ignoring the little voice in your head. The one that says "it's a bit like that other ad from last year" / "it can also be interpreted as meaning x, which is the exact opposite to what we want to say" / "it works but it's only OK".

Don't ignore that little voice. If you know in your heart of hearts that there's a problem with the idea, it's pretty much certain that your creative director is going to think there's a problem with the idea.

Though it may be painful, keeping going is the right thing to do.

Consider taking a break instead, or work on something else for a little bit.

But never stop.



Okay, you will have to stop eventually.

But not yet.

Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

No Friday Poll Today

Most people in Uruguay can´t afford computers, so Montevideo is full of internet cafes, which are full of screaming kids playing GTA San Andreas and Counterstrike.

So it´s too hard to sort out a new poll - I´m going to leave the current one up for another week.

Along with a plea.

Please, all you eager-beaver early-risers, stop voting! You´re making me feel terrible.

World´s Loudest Advertising Vehicle

Here in Montevideo, the citizens with any purchasing power are concentrated in only a few neighbourhoods.

Therefore one of the best advertising vehicles to target them... is literally an advertising vehicle.

A car drives around our neighbourhood twice a day - with speakers on top - broadcasting commercials.

It´s like a giant radio driving down the street.

Scamp In Uruguay

Translation: No one else is going to come along and do your work for you. (It´s for headache pills) Agency: Y&R Montevideo

Sorry about no posts for the last couple of days - I´m visiting my Dad in Uruguay.

Montevideo is an odd place. Once grand, now somewhat decayed.

Most people are earning 10 or 20 dollars a day. God knows how they react to the international L´Oreal and Chanel ads pumped out on the TV... they seem from another world.

Friday Poll - What Time Do You Get In?

In last week's poll, readers of this blog concluded by a narrow margin that Online advertising beats Press.

David Abbott would be spinning in his grave. Except he's still alive.


The poll of two weeks ago revealed that we are all drunk every night. That set me wondering... what time do you get to work in the morning?

Are you an eager beaver, at your desk and already looking at the usual websites before 9am?

Or are you the rock star who rolls in after 10, soy-milk latte in hand?

Or are you somewhere in the middle? If so, where?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

A Hummer In Your Happy Meal

This post on the official McDonalds blog defends their promotion that put a toy Hummer in kids' meals. Some of the comments are hiliarious.

Great find by Dan Germain

Dan (he works at Innocent) also says some embarrassingly complimentary things about my blog. But don't let that lapse of judgement deter you from reading his blog. It's very good.

Racist Or Funny?

Australia Day was 26th Jan. so apologies for the belated topicality... the anti-racist Miss Great Britain release of two days ago (scroll down) made me think of this.

Basically, the Meat & Livestock Commission produce an Australia Day film every year, to get Aussies eating lamb rather than 'Unaustralian' alternatives like tofu.

But are the ads racist?

Quite a few YouTube commenters think so. Do you?

Here's last year's first of all...



And now the 2007 one.

Tuesday Tip No.11 - Be Very

Most ads have a quite nice visual, a quite nice headline, some quite nice dialogue, if it's TV.

Don't do that.

Why be like 'most ads'?

Make your ad extreme. If it's dialogue-based, double the amount of dialogue and cut out everything else. If it's visual-based, lose the headline, make the visual as big as possible. If it's visual, make it very visual. If it's logical, make it very logical. If it's emotional, make it very emotional.

In short, be very.

Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Best Press Release Ever?

Following former beauty queen Danielle Lloyd's alleged racist comments on Celebrity Big Brother, the Miss Great Britain organisation issued this hilarious statement.

Friday Poll - The Great Press Debate

Quite a contradiction in this week's Campaign.

Page 2 announces that W&K's 'St Wayne' ad for Nike has won the £25,000 award for best national newspaper ad of 2006.

Judge Dave Dye calls it "the kind of image that seeps into our culture".


But on page 28, Mark Wnek (creative director, Lowe New York) reviews this Subaru ad (click to make bigger):


And he writes: "Does it stir the old-school copywriter in me? Hugely. Will it sell exotic SUVs at tens of thousands of pounds a pop? Never. Ever. All of this effort should have gone online."

So who is right?

Are advertisers wasting their money by communicating to people via the medium of tomorrow's chip wrapping?

Or is it a waste of time rying to prise web surfers' eyeballs off of young ladies' chests?

You decide. The poll is in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Now for the result of last week's poll. The subject was the most trivial so far. So understandably, it drew the biggest response of any poll so far.

The result - amazingly - was a 3-way tie. Creatives, Planners and Traffic are all complete alcoholics.

With Account Handlers staggering in not far behind in 4th place.

Shame on us all.


Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Miracle Pub

Just to prove that I can find my own funny signs and don't nick them all off Martin, here's the sign outside The Bath House pub in Soho.

As you can see, this remarkable establishment is both traditional and modern at the same time.

Take that, sticklers for single-mindedness.

The Modern Word

Discovered a nice new blog today - This Is The Modern Word.

The author is a 37 year old copywriter called Martin, who writes about bad ads, free newspapers, and hair loss. All highly amusingly.

He's a big fan of funny signs and graffiti, as am I.

Here are some of his best ones.

Note that they capitalise the T of Toy but not the 'c' of children.



A farmer who tells it like it is. He's got some shit to shift. No charge.


A builder's mate, immortalised, in concrete.



Poor Cliff.
Sir Cliff, sorry.



I feel a bit bad that I've filleted Martin's blog and put my favourite content up here. But there's plenty of other good stuff at This Is The Modern Word. Do visit.