Mr. Deity

Many of us, as part of our jobs, are being tasked with creating fun & interesting digital content.

Content like this.

Now, if only there was a way to twist this round for some brand...

Thanks to Dr. Rogers for the tip

Friday Poll

Lord Lever famously said half his advertising didn't work.

A few years later, a more recent Unilever boss (Niall Fitzgerald) upped the figure to 90% (quoted in a nice paper of Jon Howard's.)

So what about your record?

Has everything you've touched turned to gold?

Or have you clawed your way up the greasy pole by doing brilliantly creative campaigns for products that bombed in the shops?

Of course, there are many many ways to measure effectiveness. What we're interested in here is something (necessarily) quite loose - your own personal view of how many of the campaigns you've been involved with have actually worked.

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

The result of last week's poll was very reassuring for the future of advertising.

During the ad-breaks, the most common activity undertaken by readers of this blog is... watching the ads.

Unless you're just watching them out of professional interest?

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.13 - Which Department Is The Most Insane?
Friday Poll No.12 - What Music Do You Listen To While Working?
Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Ad Blog Charts

Here's the Ad Blog Charts for March.

This time I've used Technorati rather than Alexa rankings, in other words it's based on number of links rather than traffic (incidentally Technorati also only ranks blogs, not websites in general).

A better method, do you think, or not?

The results are not amazingly dissimilar to last time, though some of the planners blogs have gone a bit higher - which sees Faris and Adliterate enter the chart. Congrats to them.


Top 25 Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	AdRants	627
2	Advertising/Design Goodness	1,117
3	AdFreak	1,761
4	Adverblog	2,368
5	Jaffe Juice	3,040
6	Logic + Emotion	3,199
7	Russell Davies	3,564
8	Adverbox	3,615
9	Hee-Hawmarketing	4,640
10	Adland	5,679
11	Twenty Four	6,695
12	How Advertising Spoiled Me	8,096
13	AdPulp	10,244
14	Advertising For Peanuts	12,209
15	Hidden Persuader	12,443
16	Experience Curve	14,192
17	Copyranter	14,442
18	Adliterate	15,698
19	Beyond Madison Avenue	15,826
20	Coloribus	16,999
21	American Copywriter	17,483
22	Faris	20,003
23	Welcome To Optimism	23,037
24	Ad Hunt	25,029
25	Make The Logo Bigger	27,360

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	Russell Davies	3,564
2	Adliterate	15,698
3	Faris	20,003
4	Welcome To Optimism	23,037
5	Beeker	39,283
6	Scamp	44,415
7	FishNChimps	50,863
8	AdScam	51,657
9	What If...	65,053
10	Gwen Yip	90,536

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, hence no Gapingvoid. Paul Colman requested Life In The Middle not be classed as an ad blog, so Paul is not there. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

No doubt I've missed one out. Do let me know and I'll put it in next month.

Unintentionally The Funniest Book Ever

I've recently finished "Open Minds. 21st Century Business Lessons and Innovations from St. Luke's" by Andy Law.

It is quite possibly the funniest book ever written.

Life at St Luke's was clearly bonkers.

And yet they took it all completely seriously.

At their awayday, every member of staff had to give a speech.

To make himself uncomfortable, as he was used to speaking publicly, David Abraham stripped off. Almost naked, literally, he exposed to us all the deep feelings he had about the company.

Meanwhile, someone asks Head of Planning John Grant if he is happy.

Happiness is a static point along the path of fulfillment. At any one point I can declare myself happy, but still feel there is more to fulfil... for example, I am happy now, because I am eating my breakfast, but my day is as yet unfulfilled.

Surely there's enough material for a comic novel in all this...

The King

No Friday poll yesterday, I'm on a short break in Morocco, so I'll keep it running for another week.

This is an interesting and beautiful place.

On the roads out of the airport, there are many large posters of the King, in a sort of 'welcome to my country' pose.

Wonderful.

Made me think... shouldn't there be huge posters of the Queen as you come out of Heathrow? Or perhaps Tony Blair?

I Just Love To Rent Guns

Disturbing.

Who Can Speak On Shoots

Minor bust-up over at the always-interesting Northern Planner.

He remembers:

as a young account exec (with hair!) I was told that my job was to keep the client away from the director at all costs. Any queries absolutely had to go through the producer. It said a fair bit about highly strung directors as far as I was concerned

My reply:

Here are some of the people you will typically find on a shoot:

production company producer, agency producer, copywriter, art director, client, account handler, sound man, lighting cameraman, actors, hair person, make-up person, wardrobe person, 1st AD, 2nd AD, 3rd AD, runner, another runner, gaffer, assistant gaffer, camera assistant, production designer, production designer's assistant, spark, assistant spark, carpenter, assistant carpenter, catering chief, catering assistant... there's more but you get the idea.

This is why not everyone can talk to the director.

It slightly annoys me that account handlers think it's laughable that they have to 'go through the producer'.

A lot of people on a shoot have to go through someone else to get to the director.

It's a numbers thing, that's all.

Who is right?

Well, obviously I am. But what do you think?

Tuesday Tip No.15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising, Part I

Okay, I've decided to tackle the big one.

And it is a big one, so I'm going to break it down into several parts.

First of all, I might as well answer the most commonly asked questions, because the answer is really very easy.

I've only just left college, is it worth me contacting the headhunters?

Yes

What about schemes like Cream, The Book Club, and the Diageo Scheme, are they worth applying to?

Yes

Is it better to work on my book, or try to get placements?

Do both

Okay I've got a placement. Is it better to work hard in the agency I'm at and try to get a job here, or keep working on my book and go for jobs wherever they come up?

Do both

Is it better to see small agencies or big agencies? Multinationals or hotshops? Lots of different agencies or repeated visits to the ones we like best?

All of the above.

In short, why would you not do something that could help you? Do it all.

Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Off Topic But Hilarious

Adam Buxton's interpretation of a sign language interpreter.

Friday Poll - What Do You Do When The Adverts Come On?

When a chicken plucker comes home at night, the last thing he wants to have for dinner is chicken.

Do you avoid adverts in the same way?

Or are you so addicted to brand communications that you talk doing the programmes, and shut up during the breaks?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

The result of last week's poll reveals that readers of this blog believe Account Handlers to be the least sane people in our industry. Poor Suits. Were they sane when they went in, I wonder, and only gradually got driven mad by a ceaseless stream of Client 'requests', and the stress of 'dealing with' Creatives? Or were they bonkers to begin with?

Who knows.


Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.12 - What Music Do You Listen To While Working?
Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The 10 Biggest Cocks In Advertising

Oh my days this is funny.

Swearing is funny. Fact.

David Beckham - Emotion In Advertising

The new adidas David Beckham ad broke last night. I think it's great.

Why? Because he's not afraid to show his emotions.

Nothing's more powerful than genuine emotion (or harder to elicit from sports stars - hats off to 180 Amsterdam for getting it).

Makes me wonder why we don't use emotion more. After all, most purchasing decisions are emotionally not rationally driven. David Bonney is building up a collection of sad/ emotional ads. Maybe that will help.

P.S. the last time I got a bit emotional myself was... earlier this morning, when I watched an entire ad break from 1982 over at FishNChimps. Oh, the nostalgia. Worth visiting. Chimpy writes a nice commentary on it too.

Tuesday Tip No.14 - Make Friends With Traffic

When I was first starting out, I asked a senior creative - "Who's it better to be really in with - the Account Handlers or the Planners?"

His reply - "Traffic."

Of course you should make friends with everybody. But especially make friends with Traffic (or Progress, Workflow, Project Management, they go by different names in different agencies).

Here's 5 reasons why.

1. They know when the good briefs are coming up. If they like you, they might even give you one of them.

2. If you like gossip (and let's face it, you do) they can tell you who is about to be fired, who is bunking up with who, etc.

3. They know which juicy brief a senior team is struggling on. Prepare to jump in.

4. It will do you good to talk to someone who isn't called Tarquin or Julian for a change.

5. They can, if asked nicely, give you more of the most precious commodity of all. Time.

So make friends with Traffic. It's really worth it.

Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

World's Wittiest Copywriter?

Saw an old movie over the weekend - Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House - in which advertising copywriter Cary Grant experiences mildly amusing difficulties with builders.

But there's a rather more amusing (for us) subplot, in which Grant is required to come up with a slogan for a ham product called 'Wham'.

The deadline? Well, he's given six months to come up with the idea. That's right, folks, six months.

Second, it seems that no campaign idea or even a visual is needed. Nope, just a slogan. No 360 degree thinking in 1948, no Sir, no way.

And the winning tagline? It springs fully-formed from the mouth of the family's black maid (!)

"If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham."

Friday Poll - March Madness

Techno! Techno! Techno! Techno!

The result of last week's poll shows that Dance music is the most popular kind for readers of this blog to listen to at work.

I don't know if this means you're all very young, or very trendy. No doubt both.

In second place, was No Music. Perhaps these people work (or are trying to) just down the hall from the aforementioned?


This week's poll, as we enter the month of March, is about madness.

Which department is the most cracked?

Is it those crazy Creatives - or are they merely faking madness in a bid to appear creative?

Or is it the Planners who are insane, as all clever people in Hollywood movies have to be?

Or are Account Handlers the crazy ones, for taking a job where they get treated like s*** the whole time?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.11 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.10 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.9 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.8 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.7 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.6 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.5 - Festive Greetings
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Communications Past Their Use-By Date

Going through the 2005 D&AD Annual the other day, I found this Tesco ad.


Remarkable to think that, only a couple of years ago, Tesco were boasting their peas are flown in from Guatemala.

Going back further, check out these hilarious Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974 (via Rachel L).

This one depicts that delicious snack, frozen coffee.


There's no doubting it.

95% of what we do is going to end up looking very funny, or very weird.

Angryman

Discovered a great new blog via Life In The Middle called YOU PISSED ME OFF, YOU BASTARD in which the writer, who styles himself 'Angryman', has a good old pop at bus drivers, junk mail, dentists... basically anyone who pisses him off.

He also quotes this wonderfully funny urban myth of rage.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window. .. so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Don Hansen.."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Tuesday Tip No.13 - Get Reference

You had the idea, so you know what the ad will look like. But no one else does. That means everyone will start visualising it in their own individual way, and might start arguing for it to be executed in their own individual way. You don't want that. You want it your way.

So get reference.

If people don't know what your ad is going to look like, they might not understand it quite as well as they should, so they might not like it as much as they should, so they might fail to sell it / buy it.

Get reference.

Some of the people you present your ideas to are perfectly capable of visualising from a script or scamp. But some aren't. There are lots of people in this business who are great at marketing or strategy or account handling but who couldn't visualise a red arse unless you show them a picture of somebody being spanked. (This doesn't make them bad people, incidentally. They just need your help.)

Get reference.

All right, Scamp, you've convinced me. I'll get hold of a piece of film or something. But not just yet. I'll get it when the idea is about to go to client, okay?

No. Get it now. John Webster never showed any idea to anybody without reference. From the very beginning of the process, he made people 'see it' - and he made them see it his way.

Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

An Ad Director Writes

It was the Oscars last night. A place where many ad directors hope to end up walking on stage. Sadly, none did this time.

But despite the cliche definition of a commercials director - person who can snort a line of coke thicker than their ponytail - most of them do actually care very deeply about film.

A director called Wayne writes an interesting blog.

My favourite post is his most recent one, a very astute critique of the film Babel.

Wayne totally nails the film's lack of emotional truth.

Sorry, Brad.

Friday Poll No.10

The big hand is on the 12. The little hand is on the 9. And already, nearly 40% of readers of this blog are at their desks.

Impressive.

As for the 10 readers who stroll in after 10am... are you guys hiring? Let me know if you are.


This week's poll, suggested by the fabulous Rob M, asks what is your favourite sort of music to work to?

Do you play classical music to increase your productivity, like farmers do to their cows?

Or do you 'rock out' to, er, Robbie Williams or something?

Or are you a member of the "Would you please turn that racket down, some of us are trying to think!" brigade.

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.10 - What Time Do You Get In?
Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.8 - Press v Online
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Ad Blog Charts

The guys at Beyond Madison Avenue used to produce a chart of the Top 25 Advertising Blogs, but they've stopped.

Being (long ago) the geeky kid obsessed with the pop charts, I asked if they'd mind me reviving it. They said okay, so here it is.


Top 25 Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	AdRants	15,085
2	Advertising/Design Goodness	24,249
3	AdFreak	40,990
4	Adverblog	47,712
5	Adverbox	49,824
6	Adland	58,696
7	Coloribus	76,062
8	Twenty Four	79,243
9	Logic + Emotion	104,241
10	Jaffe Juice	143,016
11	AdPulp	160,801
12	Russell Davies	162,185
13	How Advertising Spoiled Me	186,987
14	Experience Curve	207,549
15	Beyond Madison Avenue	225,279
16	Copyranter	241,982
17	American Copywriter	250,615
18	Advertising For Peanuts	295,202
19	AdScam	384,282
20	FishNChimps	423,089
21	BrandFlakes for Breakfast	437,689
22	AdVerb	476,912
23	Scamp	537,700
24	Ernie Schenck	541,301
25	Welcome To Optimism	553,748

Top 10 UK Ad Blogs

		(world
		ranking)
1	Russell Davies	162,185
2	AdScam	384,282
3	FishNChimps	423,089
4	Scamp	537,700
5	Welcome To Optimism	553,748
6	Adliterate	1.21m
7	What If...	1.45m
8	Gwen Yip	2.88m
9	Beeker	2.89m
10	Faris	2.89m

UK means UK-based. Ad blog means ad blogs not marketing blogs, so that excludes Gapingvoid and Life In The Middle. Also, I'm only counting English language blogs.

No doubt I've missed a few out that should be on there. Do let me know and I'll put them in next time I do it.

Tuesday Tip No.12 - Don't Stop

Coming up with ideas is hard work.

Therefore, when you are doing it, the temptation to stop is always strong.

Yes! Got something - hurrah!

Now we can check our e-mails and call our friends.

Don't.

Look, I know the feeling, believe me. What we do is bloody hard work. And as soon as you have something that works, the desire to down tools can be overwhelming.

So you find yourself ignoring the little voice in your head. The one that says "it's a bit like that other ad from last year" / "it can also be interpreted as meaning x, which is the exact opposite to what we want to say" / "it works but it's only OK".

Don't ignore that little voice. If you know in your heart of hearts that there's a problem with the idea, it's pretty much certain that your creative director is going to think there's a problem with the idea.

Though it may be painful, keeping going is the right thing to do.

Consider taking a break instead, or work on something else for a little bit.

But never stop.



Okay, you will have to stop eventually.

But not yet.

Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

No Friday Poll Today

Most people in Uruguay can´t afford computers, so Montevideo is full of internet cafes, which are full of screaming kids playing GTA San Andreas and Counterstrike.

So it´s too hard to sort out a new poll - I´m going to leave the current one up for another week.

Along with a plea.

Please, all you eager-beaver early-risers, stop voting! You´re making me feel terrible.

World´s Loudest Advertising Vehicle

Here in Montevideo, the citizens with any purchasing power are concentrated in only a few neighbourhoods.

Therefore one of the best advertising vehicles to target them... is literally an advertising vehicle.

A car drives around our neighbourhood twice a day - with speakers on top - broadcasting commercials.

It´s like a giant radio driving down the street.

Scamp In Uruguay

Translation: No one else is going to come along and do your work for you. (It´s for headache pills) Agency: Y&R Montevideo

Sorry about no posts for the last couple of days - I´m visiting my Dad in Uruguay.

Montevideo is an odd place. Once grand, now somewhat decayed.

Most people are earning 10 or 20 dollars a day. God knows how they react to the international L´Oreal and Chanel ads pumped out on the TV... they seem from another world.

Friday Poll - What Time Do You Get In?

In last week's poll, readers of this blog concluded by a narrow margin that Online advertising beats Press.

David Abbott would be spinning in his grave. Except he's still alive.


The poll of two weeks ago revealed that we are all drunk every night. That set me wondering... what time do you get to work in the morning?

Are you an eager beaver, at your desk and already looking at the usual websites before 9am?

Or are you the rock star who rolls in after 10, soy-milk latte in hand?

Or are you somewhere in the middle? If so, where?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.9 - Who Drinks The Most?
Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Racist Or Funny?

Australia Day was 26th Jan. so apologies for the belated topicality... the anti-racist Miss Great Britain release of two days ago (scroll down) made me think of this.

Basically, the Meat & Livestock Commission produce an Australia Day film every year, to get Aussies eating lamb rather than 'Unaustralian' alternatives like tofu.

But are the ads racist?

Quite a few YouTube commenters think so. Do you?

Here's last year's first of all...



And now the 2007 one.

Tuesday Tip No.11 - Be Very

Most ads have a quite nice visual, a quite nice headline, some quite nice dialogue, if it's TV.

Don't do that.

Why be like 'most ads'?

Make your ad extreme. If it's dialogue-based, double the amount of dialogue and cut out everything else. If it's visual-based, lose the headline, make the visual as big as possible. If it's visual, make it very visual. If it's logical, make it very logical. If it's emotional, make it very emotional.

In short, be very.

Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Friday Poll - The Great Press Debate

Quite a contradiction in this week's Campaign.

Page 2 announces that W&K's 'St Wayne' ad for Nike has won the £25,000 award for best national newspaper ad of 2006.

Judge Dave Dye calls it "the kind of image that seeps into our culture".


But on page 28, Mark Wnek (creative director, Lowe New York) reviews this Subaru ad (click to make bigger):


And he writes: "Does it stir the old-school copywriter in me? Hugely. Will it sell exotic SUVs at tens of thousands of pounds a pop? Never. Ever. All of this effort should have gone online."

So who is right?

Are advertisers wasting their money by communicating to people via the medium of tomorrow's chip wrapping?

Or is it a waste of time rying to prise web surfers' eyeballs off of young ladies' chests?

You decide. The poll is in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Now for the result of last week's poll. The subject was the most trivial so far. So understandably, it drew the biggest response of any poll so far.

The result - amazingly - was a 3-way tie. Creatives, Planners and Traffic are all complete alcoholics.

With Account Handlers staggering in not far behind in 4th place.

Shame on us all.


Previous poll results:

Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

The Miracle Pub

Just to prove that I can find my own funny signs and don't nick them all off Martin, here's the sign outside The Bath House pub in Soho.

As you can see, this remarkable establishment is both traditional and modern at the same time.

Take that, sticklers for single-mindedness.

The Modern Word

Discovered a nice new blog today - This Is The Modern Word.

The author is a 37 year old copywriter called Martin, who writes about bad ads, free newspapers, and hair loss. All highly amusingly.

He's a big fan of funny signs and graffiti, as am I.

Here are some of his best ones.

Note that they capitalise the T of Toy but not the 'c' of children.



A farmer who tells it like it is. He's got some shit to shift. No charge.


A builder's mate, immortalised, in concrete.



Poor Cliff.
Sir Cliff, sorry.



I feel a bit bad that I've filleted Martin's blog and put my favourite content up here. But there's plenty of other good stuff at This Is The Modern Word. Do visit.

Tuesday Tip No.10 - Breaking Up

There are as many horror stories surrounding the dumping of a partner as there are around the dumping of a girl or boyfriend.

Like the copywriter who went on holiday, and when they got back, found someone else sitting in their chair.

Or the time I got dumped, when my art director went on a trip to the U.S., and simply never called me when he got back. Good holiday was it, Al?

I've dumped once and been the dumpee once. So I don't have a great deal of experience. But I do have a little bit. And I also asked around a few people.

So here's the collective wisdom:

1. If you want to break up with your partner, it's down to you to go and get another job. They get to stay. You don't. That's just the way it is.

2. Have the courage and decency to tell them in person. I'm pleased to be able to report that when I dumped Helen, I did tell her to her face, along with the reason why. She was shit. Sorry Helen, but that's the truth.

3. Honesty is good, but only break the news if you have a concrete offer. Don't pointlessly destabilise the team by saying you're breaking up, and then not do anything about it.

4. Find another partner before you break up with your current one. Sounds mercenary, but again, it's all about avoiding limbo and uncertainty. That's not good for either of you.

5. When things aren't going well, and you're feeling frustrated, it's a natural tendency to blame your partner. That is perfectly normal and sensible. Well you're hardly going to blame yourself, are you?! But just remember, it may not be your partner's fault. Or yours. You're probably just feeling frustrated because you work in a frustrating job. A job where you spend the whole day making wonderful creations that other people stomp on. So pour yourself another glass of whatever you can find in the fridge, and have a good old bitch to your wife/ girlfriend/ boyfriend. That's what they're there for. And only break up with your partner as a last resort.

Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

The Argument That Won't Stay Dead

A witty and passionate marketer by the name of Vando, who is based in Sydney Australia, picks up on last week's poll, which showed that 82% of readers of this blog would rather do the ad of the year than double their client's sales.

He is cross.

He feels it confirms a post of his entitled Do Agencies Give A Shit?

This debate is like one of the zombies in Dawn Of The Dead which was on TV here last night. You think it's dead, but it comes back to bite you.

It seems some clients still don't believe there's a correlation between creativity and effectiveness.

What to do?

In the words of Ving Rhames - "You've got to go for the head."

Okay, so he was talking about despatching zombies. In our context, it means proving to clients, over and over again if necessary, by means of solid, reasoned argument, that great ads work better than average ads.

If anyone has a link to a suitable article or research paper, do please post it up.

Friday Poll

83% of you prefer Glory to Success.

Rock on!


That was last week's poll.

This week - as we begin to abandon those promises of a detox January - I'm asking "Which department in an advertising agency drinks the most?"

Is it Creatives, seeking inspiration from Stella?

Is it Traffic, "liaising with the printers" in some ghastly strip-pub in the East End?

Perhaps it's those little minxes in TV, and their easy familiarity with the cocktail menu at the Charlotte Street hotel?

Or is it our beloved Suits - always out getting wasted - which they refer to as "team-bonding".

I can't believe it could be the Planners... though there's a few dark horses amongst you...

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Friday Poll No.7 - Success Or Glory?
Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Where Ideas Come From

Interesting piece in the New York Times about Ronald Burt's theory of Where Ideas Come From (summarised in Apophenia, via Russell via Rodcorp)

Got a good idea? Now think for a moment where you got it. A sudden spark of inspiration? A memory? A dream? Most likely, says Ronald S. Burt, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, it came from someone else who hadn't realized how to use it. "The usual image of creativity is that it's some sort of genetic gift, some heroic act," Mr. Burt said. "But creativity is an import-export game. It's not a creation game."

This is complete rubbish, isn't it?

He's clearly never had an idea in his life.

But to prove him wrong, I decided to look at where my own ideas come from.

I looked back as far as the beginning of 2003, and worked out what the source was for all the ideas I'd had. (N.B. it only includes ideas that actually ended up running, and it doesn't include the many ideas that came from my partner or from a creative director, as I can't say with certainty where they got them from).

Here's the result.

(My first-ever pie chart. I've probably done it completely wrong, but I don't care, it was fun.)


Amazingly enough, it seems that most of my ideas actually come from - shock horror - the Brief. By that I mean I made some kind of leap (probably a feeble one) directly from the proposition, or one of the support points or something.

Source No.2 is Autobiography, by which I mean that something in the brief or product triggered a memory of some personal experience, that I was somehow able to hammer into the shape of an ad.

At No.3 is (shamefully) 'Another Ad', i.e. I was "inspired" by a pre-existing ad to solve the brief.

At No.4 is ''Someone Else' having the idea, and suggesting it to me, which in both cases was actually my wife (thanks Suz.)

And in 5th place, there was one solitary idea inspired by a film.

I've no idea whether these proportions tally with other people's experience, but I'd be interested to hear...

Millward Brown Strikes Back

The other day I did a post about David Bonney's theory of Sad-vertising, which contained an attack on Erik du Plessis of Millward Brown.

It draws an instant e-mail response:

"Hi Scamp."

"I am Erik du Plessis, from Millward Brown (hssss)."

"I don’t think I mentioned that I am against advertising that raises a negative emotion. In fact I am a great one for advertising that raises an emotion, any emotion. The Maxwell tape ad on David’s blogsite is a very good example of using emotion in advertising (or sadvertising)."

"Emotion has two functions: getting attention and setting a framework inside which the message is interpreted. Sadvertising can do both, and often more effectively than Gladvertising. I would warn against Gratuitous negative emotions in an advertisement, but then I think gratuitous positive emotion has a similar problem."

"My view is that there must be emotion in an advertisement, and hopefully compatible with the product."

So there. And he can cause death by strangulation without even touching you.

Tuesday Tip No.9 - How To Have A Good Relationship With Your Partner

Following on from last week's tip about finding the right partner, this week's tip looks at how to work well with them once you've found them.

But first, I reprint verbatim a discussion between two creatives, overheard through the wall.

CW: It's shit.
AD: What do you mean it's shit?
CW: I mean that it's shit.
AD: But why is it shit?
CW: It's shit because it's shit, that's all

Yes, this is what it's like for everyone. Don't worry about it.

General tips - as ever, the key analogy is with a marriage, and the same rules apply. Don't go to bed on an argument. Always listen to your partner's point of view. Remember their birthday. And don't look at other art directors in the street.

Other than that, here's the 10.

1. You've got to be a united team, so never disagree with anything your partner says in a meeting, even if by rights it should get them sectioned under the Mental Health Act. Sort it out behind closed doors.

2. If they write a nice headline, or come up with a good visual, tell them. Sounds basic I know, but we're all praise-whores in this business, aren't we? Your partner is no exception.

3. Agree between you exactly what the brief is about before you start writing ads. There's nothing more frustrating than your partner spending two hours drawing pictures of snakes having slightly misheard that vital briefing on snails.

4. Be aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses. If your partner hates presenting work, don't make him. If you're no good at speling, get him to check your headlines.

5. Have regular chats about 'what we want to achieve this year' and 'where do we see our careers heading'. The boat will go better when you're both rowing in the same direction.

6. Never say 'no' to one of his ideas. People hate being told no. Instead just say 'yes' in an unconvinced sort of tone. This one really works! Avoid hours and hours worth of arguments!

7. There will be times when you carry him, and times when he carries you. Don't worry about this. It is normal. Only if you have been carrying him for a period longer than about six months do you need to have 'a chat'.

8. Don't worry if other teams seem to do things differently to you, like work longer hours or shorter hours than you do, have more or fewer arguments, socialise with each other outside work or don't, drink or don't drink at lunchtime. All that matters is if your relationship works for you.

9. In general, you should only present ideas that both of you like. But if he really really wants to present an idea that you absolutely hate, let him. We call it 'playing a joker'. What's the worst that can happen?

10. Avoid long arguments. Time is your only resource. By all means tell your partner that an idea has already been done, is illegal, or is off brief, but don't spend 20 minutes trying to kill it while he tries to defend it. Just move on, and use those 20 minutes to have a better idea instead.

Next week: Breaking Up.

Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Sad-vertising

David Bonney, a top planner at DDB London, noticed my post asking Should Ads Be Happy? and sent me an excellent piece he has written titled 'Sad-vertising', which is about "the emotional resonance of downbeat communications."

I won't put up the whole thing as it's copyright (appeared in Admap December 2006, if you can get hold of a copy) but here are some highlights.

"Sad-vertising is my term for those rare and beautiful brand communications that reach a little deeper," writes David. "Communications with the confidence to make consumers feel something more sophisicated, meaningful and lasting than momentarily cheerful or excited."

"Nearly all advertising deals in happiness... but life is far richer than that... Surely advertising's reluctance to embtrace [the] full spectrum of emotional life distances us from consumers, reducing the effectiveness of communications?"

"Many great brands have sucessfully flirted with sad-vertising, e.g. 'J.R. Hartley' for Yellow Pages... [the Paula Hamilton 'Changes' ad for] Volkswagen."

"But for some reason, most brand communications continue to be superficial, inanely cheerful and unrealistic... nothing frustrates me more than having to watch surfing cars, chocolate-induced giggles or blokey slapstick."

David then goes on to question the assertion by Erik du Plessis of Millward Brown (hssssssss) that "we are all programmed to seek out the positive and shun the negative."

"The emotional adaptations that define us as humans... to serve the social needs of hominid group-living, for example jealousy, love, hope, empathy... are more complex and surely cannot be reduced to... simple positive and negative motivational terms."

"Humans can be drawn to negative affect.. [and in any case] positive emotions are experienced more intensely when preceded by the experience of negative eemotions... For J.R. Hartley, finding his book is all the sweeter after repeated failures to do so."

Wonderful stuff.

Friday Poll - 'Show' or 'Business'?

We ad people are motivated by a combination of things - money, glory, a desire to help small children and animals.

Okay, just kidding on the last one.

But what's your prime motivation?

Would you rather be able to tell your mates 'you know the ad with the millions of coloured balls going down the hill? That was me, that was'... or are you all about the business, the kind of person who swings their hips to the sweet, sweet sounds of the cash-tills ringing?

Vote now, in the top right hand corner of your screen.

And you will be pleased to see that in visiting this blog you are officially NOT wasting your time!

The result of last week's poll shows a clear majority of visitors believe that reading blogs helps their career.

You are reading this outside working hours, right?



Friday Poll No.6 - Is Reading Blogs A Waste Of Time?
Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Bell, Hamsters, Axed

Nick Bell, Executive Creative Director at JWT, has been fired.

At first sight this is insane. JWT have done better work under him than EVER before. Really great campaigns for Golden Wonder, Smirnoff, Vodafone and others. They placed seventh in the Gunn Report, having never previously featured on it before.

What more is a creative director supposed to do?

Then again, they did lose £150 million worth of business on his watch.

The truth is, JWT has never been about great work. It's about solid work. They probably told him they wanted great work. But they didn't.

Today also came the announcement that Mother is losing the Egg account.

This, I think, is a terrible mistake.

Clients go to Mother to get brilliant work. And Egg got brilliant work. (See below). Modern, relevant, and wonderfully engaging. What more is an agency supposed to do?

The Nick Bell thing is understandable. But Mother do not deserve to lose Egg.

Should Ads Be Happy?

Nick is cross because we are being asked to make an ad 'joyful' and he doesn't like happy ads.

At first I assume he's just being a contrary bastard as usual.

But thinking about the first 5 great ads that spring to mind, I realise maybe he has a point (as usual):

Apple '1984'
Guinness 'Surfer'
Guardian 'Points Of View'
Volkswagen Polo 'Protection'
Levis 'Drugstore'

All dark, all weird, and all melancholy.

(Honda 'Grrr' could be an exception of course.)

Sometimes people ask me what my favourite ad of all time is. It's Drugstore.


My good friend FishNChimps put it up on his blog the other day, and it never gets old.

But then with the genius touch of putting techno over depression-era smalltown America, I suppose it never will.

The part where the drums kick in, when you see the train, gives me goosebumps every time.

Tuesday Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner

Having a partner is quite unusal in the world of work. But it's great. You've always got someone to talk to at parties. You have someone to bounce ideas around with. And as someone without a partner told me yesterday, it stops the voices.

Creative partnerships are vitally important, so I'm going to spread the topic over three weeks - Finding The Right Partner, How To Work Well With Your Partner, and Breaking Up With Your Partner.

For once, this week's subject is one I'm mildly qualified to talk about. Nick and I have been together for ten years. Most of them miserable of course, but nevertheless, it's lasted.

It's often said that a creative partnership is like a marriage. And it is. Except you'll probably see more of your partner than you do of your spouse. And you don't have sex with them. Or you shouldn't, anyway.

So you have to make sure it's the right person.

Here's a checklist to help you choose.

1. Trust your instincts. Don't 'talk yourself into' a partnership. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.

2. Don't team up with someone just because they're already in a job or a placement, or have more experience than you so they "must be good". Judge the person not their situation because the situation will change, the person won't.

3. Don't leap straight into a partnership. If possible, do a trial run first. Work together for a week or two and see how it goes.

4. Don't be embarrassed to check them out. Google them. Talk to people who know them. Are they a psycho? Avoid them.

5. Look under every stone. If you're looking for a partner, tell everyone you know. Maybe they know someone. Speak to all the headhunters too.

6. You MUST MUST MUST find someone who thinks a bit different to you. No point having two people who think the same way. If that is the case, why have two?

7. On the other hand, you MUST find somebody you have quite a bit in common with. If you are a 36 year-old male from Manchester, and your partner is a 21 year old female from Moscow, then you are going to have big problems. You are going to say "we could art direct it in the style of the Clangers" and she is going to say "what is this Clangers?"

8. It helps if you find them a bit funny. Whether you laugh with them or at them doesn't matter. As long as there's some humour there.

9. Find someone as committed as you are. In other words, if you want to work Christmas Day, find someone else who wants to work Christmas Day. And if you are lazy, find a partner who is equally lazy. A mismatch here and you are in trouble. How did Tom Carty meet Walter Campbell? They were constantly running into each other in their creative department's kitchen, making coffee at 10.30pm. Everyone else had gone home. Including their respective partners.

10. Find someone you find interesting. You are going to have to sit opposite them for upwards of 9 hours a day. You are going to have to take aeroplanes with them, sit in edit suites and soulless conference rooms with them. Pick someone who says something interesting now and again.

Oh, and you've got to rate their work.

Tip No.7
Tip No.6
Tip No.5
Tip No.4
Tip No.3
Tip No.2
Tip No.1

Does It Matter What You Say In A Voiceover?

I'm struggling with a piece of VO at the moment.

Nick (my partner) has no sympathy, as he "never listens to a word of what a voiceover is saying."

When I challenge him, he adds that he rarely takes in song lyrics either. Although he loves music, he doesn't really know the words to even his favouritest songs.

Do you?

I could probably bluff my way through Bohemian Rhapsody, but that's about it.

Maybe Nick has a point.

Friday Poll - Is Reading Blogs A Good Use Of Your Time?

My friend Damiano's computer calculates that in the last month, he has looked at over 12,000 blogs.

He wonders if this is a good idea.

So this week's poll (top right of your screen) asks you to settle the question. Is reading blogs more of a help to your career, or a hindrance?

UPDATE. Damiano wants me to point out what 'looked at over 12,000 blogs last month' actually means as "I'm guessing some of your readers might not have heard of RSS readers and think I don't do anything else with my life!"

Here's what he actually does.

"My glorious google RSS reader gives me the opportunity to filter 120 chosen blogs, which all together post approximately 12,000 blogs between them, (these include BBC news, guardian, digg and reddit sites which produce a significant percentage of the 12,000 and of those I mostly skim through). With the magic of RSS you can easily zero in on what you want to read, which I usually tag or star."

"I tag or star approximately 150 blogs (mostly business blogs) per month for future reference once I've read them. This means I actually read 60 to 70 blog entries a day which is approximately 2000 a month."

P.S. if Damiano's boss is reading this - he is very good at his job, despite all that time he wastes looking at blogs!

Meanwhile, the result of last week's poll is very encouraging.


I'm not too clever with the calculators but I did manage to work out that the mean job satisfaction of readers of this blog is 7.4 out of 10. And the median is 8. Pretty high, no?

Or you could say it proves for definite that we're not artists...

Friday Poll No.5 - Job Satisfaction
Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?

Wieden & Kennedy have pulled it off YET AGAIN

What would I do if the Old Spice brief landed on my desk?

Burst into tears, probably.

This is what W&K did with it.

Brilliant.

Gwen's Visit

In her own inimitable style, Gwen has documented her trip to see me & Nick at BBH.




It's incredibly flattering to see oneself as a cartoon.

That was our advice to Gwen on how she should get appointments to see creative directors - email them the drawings of the appointments she's had with other CD's.

Then simply let vanity take its course.

Tuesday Tip - How To Approach Agencies

Calling creatives is hard.

Usually, they don't pick up. So you have to keep phoning and phoning. It's no good leaving a message - no one ever calls back.

And when you do get through, it's awkward. Most creative people are introverts. They don't give good phone.

So forget calling.

Simply send an e-mail to the team you would like to see, explaining who you are.

Why not personalise it a bit? E.g. if writing to Juan Cabral, you could start with "loved your Sony 'Balls' ad".

Other than that, the only trick is to approach an agency as you would a ladder. Start with the bottom rung, and climb.

So see the junior teams first. They're normally easier to see anyway. They won't be able to give you a job or a placement, but they will give you lots of advice. Find the ones whose advice you find useful, and go back and see them again and again.

Only when the junior/middleweight teams like your book, ask who is in charge of bringing in teams for placements/ freelance/ hiring (not before, you'll sound pushy). Then make an appointment to see them.

You'll rarely if ever be able to get an appointment to see a creative director. But that's ok. You don't need to. See a senior team and get them on your side, and they'll pass your book on to the CD.

Have multiple copies of your book. That way, if one gets 'stuck' in some CD's office you still have another one (or two) to take round.

Finally, smile.

Yes, I know it sounds American, but the fact is they're not just looking at a book, they're looking at two people.

It's probably no coincidence that in a galaxy far, far away, a long long time ago, the first people to give me and Nick a placement (thankyou, Richard & Markham) were two guys that we happened to get on with.

Tip No.6
Tip No.5
Tip No.4
Tip No.3
Tip No.2
Tip No.1

Gwen. In person.

My partner and I were honoured to have Gwen Yip come in to show us her work today.

Gwen is a unique, delightful and highly talented individual who will get hired very soon I'm sure.

Here she is talking Nick through her presentation.



And here's a YouTube embed of a short film Gwen made. It's mostly in Cantonese and takes a little bit of time to load, but worth watching if you would like to see the workings of an ad agency depicted using cut-out paper puppets.

Friday Poll - Job Satisfaction

The result of the Festive Poll shows a majority of you still prefer your Christmas greetings in envelopes not inboxes.


Now that we've all had a chance to reflect on our tawdry lives over the holidays, no doubt the item atop many an adlander's New Year To-Do List is 'call headhunter'.

Or did the break with your family just make you miss your co-workers?

So this week's poll, in the top right of your screen, simply asks 'On a scale from 1 to 10 - how much do you like your job?'

Friday Poll No.4 - Ad Of The Year 2006
Friday Poll No.3 - What's Your Favourite Medium To Work In?
Friday Poll No.2 - Agency Of The Year
Friday Poll No.1 - Which Department Is The Most Overpaid?