The Last Post

After 3 years and 707 posts, I've decided to discontinue Scamp.

Reasons? Partly a desire to free myself from the daily commitment of having to entertain one of the world's most demanding audiences - time-wasting creatives. And partly a decision to redeploy my spare time into something else. (Yes, I'm writing a novel. NOT set in an advertising agency).

I've learned so much doing this. That there's no such thing as unanimity of opinion in our industry. That creatives are majorly riled by work that takes its inspiration from another source (much more than Shakespeare or Picasso were!) And that HTML is bloody fiddly.

I've also learned new words, such as 'low-involvement processing', 'blogroll', and 'meh'.

There have been many highs. The tons of amazing comments and contributions from my readers. Getting a book commissioned, based on my Tuesday Tips, which comes out next year. And perhaps best of all - getting to meet so many wonderful people in the real world, through the blog.

I won't put up a list of my favourite posts, but the Top 20 that you lot seemed to enjoy the most (or be most vexed by) were:

The Top 3 Advertising Cliches - 105 comments
Mr Strings - 116
Dancing Eyebrows - 135
Grandmaster Flashmob - 108
Virgin 25th Anniversary Ad - 100
A Terrifying Counter-Theory - 103
Advertising For Atheism - 105
A Ballad For David (Ogilvy Athens video) - 138
Tuesday Tip No. 60 - What Would Dave Trott Do? - 118
HSBC Lumberjack - 117
Tuesday Tip No.58 - Beat The Finger - 112
Job Opportunity In Paradise - 122
Fallon's Print Work - 151
Goodbye Lenny - 107
Dave Trott Live - 246
Fallon's Budweiser Campaign - 232
CHI Pay - 103
Cadbury's Trucks - 136
Top Ten Creatives, Directors and Agencies - 103
Dothetestgate - 229

Future internet historians picking their way through this digital ghost-town will find my Tuesday Tips of dubious use to young creatives here and the Polls here.

There are too many people who deserve my thanks for me to be able to name them all. But I will just single out Scowling A.D. Thanks for putting up with it, Nick.

Friends, readers, commenters - I wish you all the very best.

Goodbye.

Tuesday Tip - Read Iain's Tips

It would be remiss of me - nay, positively neglectful - if I failed to include The Seven Deadly Sins Of Digital (by Iain Tait from his Crackunit blog) as part of my Tuesday Tips series.

To be a successful creative you need more than just talent, Converse trainers, and the hide of a bullet-proofed rhinoceros.

You also need knowledge. Not a lot. But some.

And the most important knowledge you need is a comprehensive knowledge of what has already been done.

Why? Quite simply, so you know what not to do.

Iain Tait's 7 Deadly Sins is a wonderful primer for that. Make sure you've read it.

Tip No.21 - Don't Behave
Tip No.20 - How To Discuss Ideas
Tip No.19 - Read Hugh's Tips
Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job
Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.55 - How To Negotiate Your Salary

I've written previously on How To Get A Pay Rise, which was about what you have to do to earn one. Today's advice is about how you actually negotiate it.

Most of this I've culled from the 2008 Global Planning Survey, in which they did a clever thing - they asked bosses for tips on what works.

Here are the best 10:

1. Consider the total package. Think about where the job is going. The holiday allowance. The other benefits.

2. Get everything in writing.

3. Don't come off as entitled and push too hard for big salaries when you are junior.

4. For your first job, take what you can get.

5. Sadly, you have to jump around to make more money.

6. Women need to be stronger and firmer, and ask for what they want even if it feels uncomfortable.

7. Never tell your current salary. You deserve what your skills and talent pull in that market, not what looks better next to your old salary.

8. Negotiate hard. There are big disparities between people at the same level, simply because some played hardball when they got hired and some did not.

9. Don't keep going back and forth. The boss's second offer is his best offer. After that he just gets pissed off.

10. Never put out the first number.

Let me know if this sounds right, from negotiations you've been involved with.


Previous Tips:

How To Use Social Media; How To Get The Best Out Of Directors; Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies; How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Turn A Placement Into A Job (Ed Morris view); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.53 - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job, by Ed Morris

Ed Morris, ECD at Lowe, has written this excellent guide, which apparently is handed out to all teams starting on placement at his agency, and that I hope he won't mind me re-printing:

“If you are a placement team at Lowe you should do this…

Show me an idea at least every 12 hours (1 working day) without fail.

Make your presence felt. Out of sight out of mind. Out of mind, no job.

Fuck the system. No one in the agency should come between you and your future. Walk straight in. It doesn’t matter how good you are if I don’t get to find out how good you are.

Focus on the work. Don’t try and be my friend.

Work on briefs that you haven’t been given. Run your own show, don’t wait for someone to walk in and “take care of you”. Respect the traffic department, but remember thy work for you, you don’t work for them. Ask them for the briefs you want; tell me if you don’t get them.

Get under the skin of a product and a brief. Don’t show me work that the rest of the department might do. I don’t need people to do what we already can.

Don’t show it to me unless you like it or you think it’s good. That’s how I find out if you’re good.

You’re not here to solve a brief. You’re here to be brilliant.

If you don’t feel you can demonstrate your capabilities with the briefs we have, do it another way. Show me any idea for any brand on any problem.

Don’t join the club, there isn’t one. You’re not here to make a load of friends and get to know the local pubs. You’re unemployed, remember that. And, if you are any good you should be trying to make the rest of us look stupid.

If you put the effort into the work I’ll put the effort into you and helping you.
But it works that way around. It’s got to start with you.

Be confident, have faith in yourselves, work hard. Look after the work and the work will look after you. A placement is a moment in time. Seize it.

…or leave.”

via Dave Trott's Blog and creative in london.


Previous Tips:

How To Get The Best Out Of Directors; Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies; How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.44 - Be Funny All The Way Through

A new tip for the new or newish Creative.

When given a TV brief, many teams come up with scripts that depict a normal or everyday situation, with a twist at the end.

This can work well. But the fact is - it has to be a helluva twist to compensate the viewer for the previous 25 seconds of boredom.

I believe you are much better off creating a commercial that is 'funny all the way through.'

In other words, a commercial where the entire situation or set of actions is inherently funny (or surreal/interesting/bizarre/beautiful/dramatic), rather than normal or familiar.

By way of example, here's two 20-second ads for the same brand. The first is an everyday scenario with a funny gag at the end; the second launches very quickly into a fresh and funny mode of behaviour.


WKD 'Bath'


WKD 'Drill'

Whether they are good ads or not isn't the point here, I just want to state that the second is clearly better than the first.

Recent awards juries back my view.

Looking at the Gold and Silver-winning commercials from this year's BTAA, here are the ads which (in my view) are funny from the beginning:

Skoda Cake
Sony Music Pieces
Cadbury Gorilla
Sony Play-Doh
Boots Here Come The Girls
Levi's Dangerous Liaison
Sony Music Pieces
Procter & Gamble Interview
Bryclcreem Effortless
The Big Yellow Storage Company Tide
Volkswagen Night Drive
Vodafone Time Theft
Vodafone Cartwheel
Volkswagen Toy Story
Adidas International Impossible is Nothing - David Beckham
Thorntons Stuck
BBC Amazing Music - Russell Brand

And here are the ones (all three of them really good ads, incidentally) that have a twist at the end or near the end of a 'normal' or stock situation:

Boots Moment of Truth
Carling Space
Carling Out

I think a lot of Creatives start out by writing ads that are jokes, naturally with a punchline. And of course there are many cases - Volkswagen 'Surprisingly Ordinary Prices' Lamp Post for example - where the normal-situation-followed-by-punchline structure works well. But... they're quite rare. Especially compared to the number of really bad ads that use that structure.

So my tip today is to try to think of a funny or interesting situation that has the brand promise woven into it, rather than just writing a joke.


Previous Tips:

How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.50 - How To Choose Where To Work

A Certain Ratio were a band from Manchester,
and are tangentially related to this post

Let's assume you are lucky enough to be offered more than one job.

How do you know which agency is better?

Well, there are lots of factors that will be particular to you - whether you like the people, the agency's style of work, and its location, for example.

But the most important factor, by far, is Awards Per Head.

For reasons we all understand, and have discussed many times before on this blog, nothing will help your career more than awards.

Therefore, the best agency is the agency that wins the most awards per creative team.

Judging on the ratio is crucial. If you only look at overall number of awards, and not ratio of awards-to-Creatives, you could go wrong. For example, some might think AMV is a better career choice than Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy, because AMV wins more awards - maybe 30 a year, to MCBD's 10. However, AMV has about 60 Creatives and MCBD only has 10. These are very rough figures, but as they show MCBD wins twice the Awards Per Head as AMV, it's still pretty conclusive.

I reckon Awards Per Head is how all Creatives rank agencies, albeit unconsciously.

So it can't do any harm to be consciously aware of it, when deciding where you want to work.


Previous Tips:

Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.56 - How To Know If You've 'Really' Got An Idea

What does it feel like to have an idea?

The cliche is it's "like a light bulb going on in your head."

In 'A Smile In The Mind', David Stuart describes feeling an "absence", before the arrival of an idea.

For me, it's like a form of electric shock in my brain and (for some reason) my arms and occasionally chest. That sounds dramatic, but sometimes it's very mild. The severity of the shock seems to correspond to how 'big' the idea is.

Whatever it's like for you, you always know when you've had one.

And in an ideal world, you would never present anything that didn't result from one of these light-bulb or brain-storm moments.

But this isn't an ideal world. Time is a problem - you often have to present something "in two days" rather than when you've had a great idea. It could be a crap brief, or a brief you just don't click with... on some briefs, you may never have an idea.

So you may end up presenting several 'ideas', none of which actually have an idea in them.

Oh well. Needs must. And you've got to have something, so that something can be discussed in the meeting.

That's okay. As long as you're honest with yourself.

If you haven't had that feeling, you haven't had an idea. And in my opinion, it's worth working on until you do, rather than spending time polishing an idea-less idea that if it gets made could very well end up being a... well, a you know what.


P.S. the tendency seems to be for people to have lots and lots of ideas at the beginning of their careers, and fewer and fewer as the years go on; the compensation for this decline is that more of your later-years ideas will be 'right'. Does this chime with your experience?

Previous Tips:

How To Use Social Media; How To Get The Best Out Of Directors; Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies; How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Negotiate Your Salary; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Turn A Placement Into A Job (Ed Morris view); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.63 - Read Jerome's Tips

Jerome Courtial, who writes the excellent Digicynic, has just left BBH for a fab new job to be a planner on Coke and Nike at W&K Amsterdam.

Sadly it means he won't have time to blog any more, hookers and blow being as time-consuming as they are.

But his parting gesture was an excellent set of tips on How To Have A Successful Career In Advertising, that are relevant to every discipline - planning, creative, account handling. Full of insight, his post reminds me just how much I'm going to miss him.

Read it immediately, if not sooner.

Previous Tips

Tuesday Tip No.46 - The Hidden Flaw

Someone once said that "the problem with a hidden flaw is it never remains hidden."

Wise words.

Very often, when you're writing an ad, you come up with something great, that you love... but you know in your heart of hearts there's one tiny thing wrong with it.

Your partner likes it. Your CD likes it. So you start thinking that maybe the planner, the account team, the client and the director will like it too, that none of them will spot the hidden flaw.

But they will. Maybe they won't say anything because, hey, they all need an ad too. But by the time it gets to consumers, and to awards juries, that hidden flaw will be as visible as a spot on a nose.

Maybe it's just a little bit too close to something one of the brand's competitors has done. Maybe it's an endline or set of words that works perfectly on two levels, but there's just this extra little meaning it can also have, that you don't want, which keeps creeping in to the communication.

Whatever it is, you know what it is. And you're best off bringing it out into the open.

And yes, I know today's Wednesday.


Previous Tips:

How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.51 - Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies

This tip is for those of you taking your book around

It takes a long time to write an ad.

Even longer for a whole campaign.

Then if people don't like it, you may find you've lost an entire day's work (or more) in 30 seconds.

So my tip today is to not write any ads at all, until you have your strategy in place.

Back when Scowling A.D. and I were looking for a job, we used to type up strategies as one-liners, stick them on a page of A4 and send them out to teams for feedback. (This was so long ago, I think we actually used to fax them). Only if a strategy was liked by several teams that we respected would we then go on to turn it into an ad campaign.

Rachel and Debbie e-mailed me some strategies the other day. Very easy to do by e-mail. You could get 10 crits a day, instead of the 3 or 4 a week you can get by going around in person.

And now Wal has very helpfully posted The List, a collection of strategy one-liners from student books collated a few years ago by John & Chris of Fallon.

The system is definitely flawed, because some great ad campaigns of the past probably wouldn't come across at all well in this format, and some strategies that look great written out as 'one-liners' may be shit when done up into ads. Nevertheless, I think you'd gain more from it than you lose.

And why not try writing out your current book as a series of strategy lines? It's a useful exercise - seeing whether your underlying thoughts are interesting, and can be expressed in a single line - even if you don't send it to anyone.

I cringe at some of these now... but for the record, the strategies that Scowling A.D. and I had in our book when we got hired at DDB (in 1999) were:

Frazzles - Made by electrocuting pigs (this has since been done, by a team at AMV)
HMV - Nothing has a bigger effect on people than music
Comptons Bar (this is a bar on Old Compton Street in Soho) - The place for cock
Jet Petrol - Who cares what the shops are like or whether we sponsor a Formula 1 team, our petrol is very cheap
Nescafe - Ideal for those working late, like burglars and prostitutes
No.7 cosmetics - The seventh deadly sin is jealousy
Domino's Pizza - The outside world is a terrible place. So stay in
National Blood Service - London has lots of red paint, like on buses and post boxes, but is running out of blood

Previous Tips:

How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes

Here's the third in my series of possibly useless tips for young creatives.

A lot of creatives - when they are just starting out - write ads that are too complicated or obscure. For example, TV scripts that you need to have seen a specific German art-house film to understand.

They do this for the right reason - they want to create something fresh and wonderful, something never seen in an ad before. And yes, good ads must be fresh and engaging. But if the audience is going to connect, they've also got to be simple and obvious.

Let's look at this brilliant Guardian ad.


The brief was "advertise our guide to gastropubs".

So, in a quest for the simple and obvious... let's play Family Fortunes.

We asked 100 people 'Name something you might find in a pub'. Top answer? A pint of beer.

We asked 100 people 'Name something you associate with good food'. Top answer? A chef.

Next comes the tricky bit. How to make quite ordinary-looking material - a pint of beer and a chef's hat - into something extraordinary. As you can see, the team found a way to do it. They created something weird and never-seen-before, but which at the same time is very clear and obvious.

And the key - for me - is to start from the simple, the ordinary, and the everyday. Take the top answer from Family Fortunes, and find a way to make it extraordinary.

Tuesday Tip No.2
Tuesday Tip No.1

Tuesday Tip No.26 - Reject Rejection

A Creative Director was asked to train some Account Handlers. He had them spend the morning making a model airplane. Then at lunchtime he reviewed their work. He took each plane in his hand and crushed it to pieces. "That," he said, "is what it feels like to be a Creative."

This story probably isn't true, but it does illustrate one of the harder aspects of our job - daily rejection of our work.

There is no way around this problem, only better ways of dealing with it.

Here are 10 tips you might try. If one of them works for you, great. None of them work for me. I still get pissed as hell.

1. Our work is often autobiographical, so we take rejection of our work as rejection of ourselves. But this is bullshit. The team/client have no clue of your autobiographical inspiration, they're purely rejecting the pieces of paper they see in front of them. You're a valid person! It's just the work they have a problem with.

2. After each negative meeting or review, ensure you have some time alone with your partner to curse the account team/ client/ creative director to high heaven. Don't feel bad about doing this. It's essential.

3. After the slagging-off session, do not be tempted to begin a sulking session. Slagging-off clears your head. Like a sorbet. But sulking is bad, because you can get sucked down into a negative spiral. So don't sulk. Rant, clear your head, then get back to work. If you sulk, the terrorists win.

4. Okay, so they've said no to your idea. Bring it back later, when they're desperate...

5. Okay, so they've said no to your idea. But did they reject the whole thing, or is there one bit of it you can salvage?

6. Tell a trusted friend the idea. If the friend doesn't think it's much cop, then you realise you haven't lost much anyway. If the friend thinks it was brilliant, then you will get a lot of sympathy from him.

7. Focus on what you've learned from the rejection. So your CD was once bitten by an orang-utang and will not countenance any primate-based TV ads. That's a good learning.

8. It was a shit brief anyway. Now your work has been rejected they'll put another team on it. Great news! You're off the hook.

9. Remember, you can only be happy if the world recognises your genius. An ad that doesn't get bought, can never be recognised as genius. You need an ad that DOES get bought. Only that can make you happy. Or a little less unhappy, at least. So stop snivelling and get back to the layout pad.

10. Put your rejected work in the bottom drawer. A good idea never dies. It just sits there in limbo, like a soul waiting for the right body.


Tip No.25 - Look Creative
Tip No.24 - Don't Be Afraid To Ask
Tip No.23 - Your Idea Has To Be 120%
Tip No.22 - Read Iain's Tips
Tip No.21 - Don't Behave
Tip No.20 - How To Discuss Ideas
Tip No.19 - Read Hugh's Tips
Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job
Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.35 - How To Do Radio

I'm delighted to have Paul Burke guest-writing this one.

Paul is a part-time DJ, multi-award winning copywriter, and author of four successful novels... but his primary credentials here are that he is the all-time most awarded radio writer in the UK. Earlier this year he was presented with a Lifetime Achievement award by the Radio Advertising Bureau.


TIPS FOR WRITING RADIO, by Paul Burke

Don’t.

Seriously, don’t. You won’t like doing radio. Not if you went to art college. If you were visually trained, why on earth would you want to work in a medium with absolutely no visual content?

Radio will not boost your career prospects. British advertising is still in thrall to the visual. So, even an award winning radio campaign will bring you neither a giant pay rise nor a slew of creative directors beating a path to your door. Your work will be invisible. Literally. Its merits will go unreported in Private View and unrewarded as Pick of the Week.

Still reading? Good. Because if you’re a real writer, as opposed to one indistinct half of a “creative team”, these drawbacks won’t bother you. You’ll find radio the purest and most satisfying medium of all.

Not every ad you make will be brilliant but the following tips should help you make each one as good as it possibly can be.

At the risk of stating the obvious, nothing exists on radio until you write it. With no visual short-cuts, everything has to be said. Someone, somewhere in the script will have to say it so who’s that someone going to be?

If you’ve chosen to create a mini-piece of comedy or drama, start with the characters and the first thing to do is give them names. Can you imagine writing a book and calling all the characters MVO and FVO?

Let’s call your MVO and FVO Nick and Helen. Immediately they’ve taken on lives of their own. So what do they look like? How old are they? What’s their relationship? Do they like each other? Before they open their mouths, you should know everything about them. Once you do, just write down what you think they’d say in the situation you’ve created. If Nick and Helen are good characters, they will help write the script for you.

When they have, look at the script. It needs to answer the following questions:


Who are these people?

Where are they?

What are they doing?

How do we know?

If the answer to any of them is unclear, go back in and tweak. It may only require a single word or sound effect to fix the problem. Nick and Helen have got to sound convincing. Yes, of course they’re selling a product but it’s not enough for them to just present the facts. If Helen were trying to persuade Nick to her point of view in real life, she’d put some guile and emotion into it. Make sure she does the same in your script.

Likewise, if Nick thinks his new Ford Focus handles well, make sure he says it handles well rather than talking about its “class leading road feedback”.

Not all scripts have characters playing parts. Sometimes, what’s required is a straight read from one voice. This is when you’re allowed to call the voice MVO or FVO and casting and attitude are even more important. Decide exactly what sort of person you want to convey your message. “Hear” that voice in your head, and search until you find it.

If you’re advertising Newcastle Brown Ale or the Scottish Tourist Board, or your commercial is only running in a particular region, it makes sense to use the appropriate accent. Otherwise, regional accents are best avoided. It’s completely untrue and, actually, rather offensive to suggest that some accents are less trustworthy than others. It’s the voice and the character behind that voice that’s either trustworthy or untrustworthy.

If you feel that your idea would benefit from a particular accent, that’s fine, as long as you steer clear of “Mr Versatile”. We’re all depressingly familiar with Southerners adopting Northern accents, posh people pretending to be common and white people pretending to be black. In every case, with the genuine article easily accessible, don’t let the voice (and therefore the whole idea) sound phoney.

Casting is crucial so try not to fall lazily back on to the “usual suspects”, whose voices are heard in practically every ad break. It’s not that these actors are bad, they’re extremely good. Which is why they’re so popular. Which is why, if you use them, your ad will sound like everyone else’s. Try to be a little more original. Keep your ears open, listen to the radio, watch TV, go to the theatre and find good people.

The same applies to inspiration for your ideas. There are far fewer aural than visual cupboards to raid. but the same two maxims apply.

1. No output without input.
2. The important thing isn’t where you find your ideas it’s where you take them.

There will always be obstacles between you and the awards podium; you just have to make sure you overcome them. You’ll always encounter greedy clients who try to cram too much into 30 seconds. Be good enough to tell them that they’re wasting their money because end up remembering nothing. Re-iterate your point by saying “I throw one ball at you, you’ll catch it. If I throw ten at once, what do you think will happen?”

Then of course, there the legals. On TV and press you can set them in barely legible type at the bottom of the screen or page but you’ll have no such luck with radio.

Certain terms and conditions may have to be added but always question exactly what needs to be said. The RACC can be prescriptive enough, but the clients’ own compliance departments are often far worse. Encourage those clients to stand up to the enemy within and only put in what the RACC have deemed absolutely necessary.

Having written your script and cast your voices perfectly, all you have to do now is make the commercial Pick your engineer as carefully as you’d pick a director for a TV commercial. Find out who’s particularly good with actors, or music or effects and get the right one to bring your creation to life by suggesting things you wouldn’t have thought of. You don’t want one who just sits there pressing the buttons. Good engineers will have opinions on all aspects of the production. They do this for a living, so make sure your commercial benefits from their knowledge, skill and experience.

Scripts tend to expand in performance so never think that yours is set in stone. Be ready to edit stuff out. Cut and cut again. You brought these words into the world, so let them breathe. Also, certain words that look fine when written can sound odd when spoken, so keep adapting, keep amending, and keep improving until the engineer’s next client is knocking on the studio door.

Follow these tips your next piece of radio might just be fabulous. The sort of commercial that goes in one ear. And stays there.

Despite his God-like status in the industry, Paul would like to point out that he is very approachable - indeed actually available, for freelance radio writing and production. Feel free to email him at paul_burke@btinternet.com


Tip No.34 - How To Do Press
Tip No.33 - How To Do TV
Tip No.32 - How To Do Digital
Tip No.31 - How To Do Posters
Tip No.30 - Look At Weird Shit
Tip No.29 - Presenting To The Client
Tip No.28 - Presenting To The Team
Tip No.27 - Presenting To The Creative Director
Tip No.26 - How To Deal With Rejection
Tip No.25 - Look Creative
Tip No.24 - Don't Be Afraid To Ask
Tip No.23 - Your Idea Has To Be 120%
Tip No.22 - Read Iain's Tips
Tip No.21 - Don't Behave
Tip No.20 - How To Discuss Ideas
Tip No.19 - Read Hugh's Tips
Tip No.18 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job
Tip No.17 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7)
Tip No.16 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together
Tip No. 15 - How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ
Tip No. 14 - Make Friends With Traffic
Tip No. 13 - Get Reference
Tip No. 12 - Don't Stop Too Soon
Tip No.11 - Be Very
Tip No.10 - Breaking Up
Tip No.9 - Working Well With Your Partner
Tip No.8 - Finding The Right Partner
Tip No.7 - How To Approach Agencies
Tip No.6 - Never-Seen-Before Footage
Tip No.5 - Dicketts' Finger
Tip No.4 - Two Blokes In The Pub
Tip No.3 - Play Family Fortunes
Tip No.2 - Should You Take A Bad Job?
Tip No.1 - Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.52 - How To Get The Best Out Of Directors

I'm delighted to have Mark Denton guest-writing this one.

Mark is one of Britain’s most successful and best-loved commercials directors; who can forget Bad Barnet? He also runs Creative Circle, his own production company (Coy! communications) and is basically just an all-round top chap.


HOW TO GET THE BEST OUT OF DIRECTORS, by Mark Denton

It really comes down to getting the right person at the beginning. When I was a Creative (Scamp note – Mark’s partner was Chris Palmer) we did 11 jobs with Vaughan & Anthea. We just worked well together, and there was a mutual respect.

When you’re looking at treatments, make your decision based on what the Director says, and your gut feel, not what they write. Treatments are often just a string of clichés anyway. Have you noticed how every single one of them begins “I love the script”?

If you are able to snag a top director, just let them do what they want to do. I had Ridley Scott agree to do a job for me once, but I let him go because I didn’t like his treatment. Looking back on it, his idea was pretty good and I was an idiot.

Beat out all the questions before shooting starts, so you’re never sitting there on set wondering “what the hell are they doing now?”

During the process of making a commercial, there is no one single way to deal with Directors, because every Director is different. But there will always be some way that gets a result. Sometimes it’s putting your arm around someone, sometimes it’s giving them a kick up the arse.

Creatives don’t seem quite as bolshie as they used to. Chris & I used to do our own storyboards, then turn up on set with stopwatches, and tell directors “that shot’s taking too long.” We were a nightmare.

Maybe that’s going too far - make it too hard for them and they might mentally give up and just start going through the motions. And if you’ve chosen someone because you like their work, you’ve got to respect their way of working. You want to get out of them whatever they can give. So for example if they want their space, and prefer comments to be filtered through a Producer, then do that.

Personally, I’m the opposite. I believe the Director and Creatives should be a team of three. I like Creatives to be standing right next to me, by the camera. It really aggravates me when the Creatives are off reading a book or playing with their mobiles. Not involved means not excited. But don’t go and tell the actors what to do – that’s what I’m being paid a lot of money to do. And actors like to hear one voice.

Creatives also need to shield their Director, to some extent. Clients are getting more and more difficult. They are getting more involved. Nowadays, they can pick a typeface on their home computer. Creatives need to have the bollocks to stand up to Clients and Account Handlers. Especially when it comes to the edit, the post, and everything that goes into finishing-up a commercial. Be champions of your own idea. Don’t let the forces of darkness water it down.


Previous Tips:

Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies; How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Presenting To The Client; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish

Tuesday Tip No.58 - Beat The Finger

If you are a junior team looking for a job, your biggest enemy is the Creative Director's finger.

When he is looking at your book, if his brain doesn't very quickly understand an idea, his finger will flip to the next page. And your creative brilliance will be lost.

The sad fact is that when he's looking at books, a Creative Director's finger works faster than his brain.

He's short of time, and has a lot of other things on his mind. He hasn't got the time or patience to decode ads that are hard to decode. And actually that's not a bad thing. He doesn't want to hire teams who write ads that the public will find hard to decode.

But if you want him to hire you, you need to beat the finger. You need to do everything you can to make sure that your idea has been understood before his finger flips to the next page. (Or in the case of a digital portfolio, clicks).

If his brain hesitates or is confused, his finger will activate.

Here's 10 suggestions to stop that happening:

1) Be arresting. A book isn't real life. In real life it may be worth doing a long copy ad for cross-tracks. In your book it isn't.

2) Leave out all extraneous stuff like what the brief was, what student awards this ad won. They just slow down the communication.

3) Leave space between each campaign. Like a blank page. Don't have him thinking for even 1/10 of a second that the first ad in your campaign for lawnmowers is another ad in your campaign for a chocolate bar. This will only confuse.

4) All drawings must be crystal clear. It doesn't matter if they're hand-drawn or mac'd up, all that matters is they're quick to understand. If a CD pauses, it should be because he's stunned by the brilliance of your strategy. Not because he's trying to work out whether your drawing is a dog, a cat, or a car.

5) Dialogue that accompanies TV scripts. It just looks like it will take a lot of time to read. Maybe you come upon a CD with time on his hands, and he reads it, and loves it. Maybe you don't, and he just flips. Why risk it?

6) Logos. Use the brands' real logos. Why? Because they're marginally quicker to take in than hand-drawn ones.

7) Got ambient work in your book (I hope you do)? If it's not abundantly clear that it's an ambient ad, then don't be afraid to write 'AMBIENT' in big letters at the top. A few fractions of a second in which the CD is trying to work out whether a picture in front of him is for a print ad or an ambient ad are a few fractions of a second too many.

8) That's all I've got. It was shorter than 10. Make your book flow as quickly and smoothly as possible. That finger flips fast. Make sure your ideas are faster.


Previous Tips:

How To Know If You've Had An Idea; How To Use Social Media; How To Get The Best Out Of Directors; Don't Write Ads, Write Strategies; How To Choose Where To Work; Working Outside London; What Would John Webster Do?; What Would Paul & Nigel Do?; The Hidden Flaw; How To Write Copy; Be Funny All The Way Through; How To Do Virals; How To Negotiate Your Salary; How To Get A Pay Rise; Be Wary Of Punding; Challenge The Brief; Tell The Truth; Playing To Lose; How To Write Headlines; How To Do Direct; How To Do Radio; How To Do Press; How To Do TV; How To Do Digital; How To Do Posters; Look At Weird Shit; Why You Shouldn't Present To The Client; How To Present To Clients If You Have To; Presenting To The Team; Presenting To The Creative Director; How To Deal With Rejection; Look Creative; Don't Be Afraid To Ask; Your Idea Has To Be 120%; Read Iain's Tips; Don't Behave; How To Discuss Ideas; Read Hugh's Tips; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part IV - How To Turn A Placement Into A Job; How To Turn A Placement Into A Job (Ed Morris view); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part III - How To Approach Agencies (re-print of Tip No. 7); How To Get A Job In Advertising Part II - How To Put A Book Together; How To Get A Job In Advertising Part I - FAQ; Make Friends With Traffic; Get Reference; Don't Stop Too Soon; Be Very; Breaking Up; Working Well With Your Partner; Finding The Right Partner; How To Approach Agencies; Never-Seen-Before Footage; Dicketts' Finger; Two Blokes In The Pub; Play Family Fortunes; Should You Take A Bad Job?; Don't Overpolish