Unsubtle Advertising

You're going to die. So you better go to church and make things right. Sign next to Camber church, Camber Sands, Kent.

Office Toys

Office toys have been around forever. Recently, grown men have started placing dolls in their offices. These are often Star Wars figures, or oddball pieces like the Kubrick collection. And I am no exception. My wife bought me a Sigmund Freud action figure, and he has gone proudly on display in my new office. Account teams come in with problems, Sigmund lies there in his blister-pack, listening. He's an excellent listener.

What Should A Creative's Workspace Look Like?

Messy?

Or tidy?

They're normally messy. Which means "Hey, I'm a creative, not some anal-retentive accountant-type like those account handler persons, OK?"

Mine is tidy. At my last company, a lot of people were freaked out by that. But at this company, it's OK. They like tidy.

In my view, what your workspace looks like shouldn't matter. Just the work.

It's Here!

The first Christmas brief of the year, that is. I'm not complaining though. Could be nice. A christmas ad for one of our biggest clients. Anyone else got a christmas brief yet?

First Day In My New Job

Here's the view from my office window. Carnaby Street. Not a bad location.

Centre Point.

The Post Office Tower.

A bottle of wine I drank the night before. Thought it would be a good omen.

More tomorrow on how weird everything is.

Ballooning

So the leaving-do was a lot of fun. Mostly because people were inhaling laughing gas. I kid you not. Here are some photos.

Apparently it's the latest craze. You use a canister like this, that you can buy on the internet.

The cartridges that you put in it contain nitrous oxide. They are designed for making whipped cream.

The spent cartridges 'spling' out like shotgun shells.

It's completely legal. Apparently the high lasts about a minute, but I didn't try it because I'm a pussy.

Leaving Update

Computer: I've gone for a Powerbook. Apparently there's no right-click... this is worrying...

Leaving-do: We've gone for the medium-sized pub which is a medium-distance away from the agency. If anyone wants to come, you're very welcome, it's this Thursday at the Windsor Castle, Campden Hill Road, near Notting Hill Gate, London. From lunchtime onwards. The agency is contributing £300 for drinks so if you get there early you can drink for free.

False Advertising

I walk past this cafe every day. The sign proudly proclaims 'Cafe Open'... but that sign is painted and non-removable. In other words, this naughty cafe is claiming to be open 24 hours a day 365 days a year, when in fact it's rather lazy and they often shut up shop at about 5pm. I can't see how I could ever bring myself to have a coffee there. Bunch of liars.

PC or Mac?

Just got a call from the agency we're joining. Do we want to have a PC or a Mac?

I'm stumped. Obviously Mac is cooler. On the downside, I don't know how to use it. And I have a PC at home. Not sure if that would create a problem or not... anyone know?

Leaving-Do Time

So where do you hold the leaving-do? Here's the options, and what I think they mean.

THE CRAPPY OLD PUB THAT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM THE AGENCY: "We're old-school."

THE TRENDY WINE BAR THAT JUST OPENED IN THE NEW SHOPPING CENTRE: "We're new-school."

THE VERY SMALL PUB UP THE ROAD: "We're worried we don't have many friends."

THE OUT-OF-THE ORDINARY OPTION LIKE HIRING A BOAT OR A CLUB OR SOMETHING: "Oh, they're so creative."

NO LEAVING-DO AT ALL: "Extremely worried about lack of friends."

JUST A LUNCH: "Maybe people will come if it's just a lunch."

Biggest Ever Product Shot Competition

Well, here's my entry. How on earth did the account team manage to sell this one? (Taken outside Paddington Station, London)

Response To Andrew

Andrew said...
Good luck to both of you. What are the things a creative wants to know about their new office by the way?
4:58 AM

1. Where is my chair
2. Coffee machine, toilet
3. My computer isn't working. what's the number for I.T.?
4. What can we put in to block out the glass wall so i can pick my nose in peace?
5.What time does everyone arrive and leave? Need to arrive 10 minutes earlier and leave 10 minutes later than the convention. Well, for the first month at least.
6. Where the hell is that guy from I.T.?
7. Where is nearest Pret A Manger
8. Nothing. Don't care at all (this contribution from my partner)
9. Where are the lined pads? And a pen?
10. OK, so let me speak to the head of I.T.

So Vain

Had my photo in Campaign last week, in connection with our move. Sadly, I looked as friendly as the average serial killer. Nevertheless, getting your photo in Campaign is a must for the ego-driven-monster types like me who work in advertising.

My pet hate is when a creative team moves and Campaign publishes a photo of... the creative directors who hired them.

<-----This is a particularly bad example from a few months ago. The guys in the pic are not poor old Chiappe and Saunby, but the TBWA CD's (now ex CD's) Brooke-Taylor and McTear.

Resignation Letter

Our creative department has a little tradition of witty resignation letters.

The CD puts them up on his wall.

No pressure.

So I turn to the web. Of course, there's a website now called i-resign.com

Nothing good there though.

<----This was Nixon's.

In the end, ours just said "Yes, we're whores."

I Resign

Yes, my partner and I are making a huge leap - from one multinational ad agency with three letters in its name to another multinational ad agency with three letters in its name.

Our creative director was kind enough to ask if there was anything he could do to make us stay, but there wasn't really. It's been 7 years. Seven happy years. But it was just time for new challenges.

So perhaps over the next few days I will be blogging about what it's like to leave somewhere and start anew...

You Know You're A Creative When...

1. You have no idea where everyone else in the agency sits
2. You don't know how to use the internet (except me and Copyranter. where the hell is everyone else?)
3. You have no idea how to book a taxi. Or a bike. In fact you are paralysed without a TV producer to plan your every movement and gesture
4. You constantly have to listen to people who have never had an idea in their lives criticise your ideas
5. The account handler asks you to change your script so the client will like it more, the planner asks you to change your script so consumers will like it more, the creative director asks you to change your script so awards juries will like it more. And the client asks you to change your script so it has a longer product sequence at the end. And in the middle. And the beginning. Actually, can we just have the product all the way through. Big. Put a spotlight on it. Some highlights. In fact, why don't we just make it dance? What do you mean yoghurts can't dance?

Dr Oetker You Are A Fraud, Sir!

This is a frozen pizza from the Dr Oetker 'Bistro' range.

The TV ad, which I've put a link to here, concerns a couple who wave away a beret-clad accordion player from their table, on the grounds that their frozen pizza is already French enough.

It includes lines such as "served on a typical French baguette", "so very French", and "Bistro is French enough for me".

Guess what? A super then comes up which says "Made in Germany."

I would have simply sent the brief back.

It's Bad Ad Time Again

An ad is supposed to persuade. Get you nodding along in agreement. With insights that chime, because they're true.

There's not much point constructing an argument out of things that aren't true and which nobody agrees with.

"So much for British generosity." What? Whoever said the British were generous? There are a lot of things commonly said about the British. I've never heard 'generous'.

"They've given us a sport nobody understands." You mean the most popular sport in India, right?

"Trains that don't run." Of course! The famous Indian trains that don't run. Not the ones I've seen running - indeed packed - in tons of films and TV programmes.

Nice Bus

Here's a fun bus-side I saw in San Francisco.

Incidentally, the bus is actually two buses joined by a bendy bit in the middle - which makes it even more appropriate.

Impressions of the U.S.

Couldn't blog much from the U.S. because United sent my luggage to Tokyo so I couldn't use my laptop.

But now that I'm back, here's a few thoughts on differences between the US and UK ad scenes. Feel free to add your own.

1. Interactive advertising is huge over there. It grew 38% year on year. Seems to be second only to TV in importance to agencies now. We are way behind in the UK but it can only go the same way.

2. They don't have separate interactive creatives. Makes sense. I mean, we don't have separate creatives doing posters, for example.

3. All the creatives over there use a Mac for their print layouts. There are no 'scamps'. Not a layout pad to be found. This surely is a mistake. It means creatives are spending time on making something look good, time which they could use to have better ideas. And secondly, when something is presented to the client already 'finished...' it leaves less room for the photographer or illustrator to add their input.

4. The Top 20 UK agencies are all in London. So if you move agencies, you don't have to move house. But of the top 20 US agencies, quite a few are in New York, but others are spread around in LA, San Fancisco, Miami, Chicago, Minneapolis, Portland etc. So getting a new job most likely means uprooting yourself (and your family if you have one). Despite this, people in the U.S. move jobs a lot more often!!

5. A lot of creatives work on just one account. The reason is obvious - accounts over there are huge. But is it a good thing? On the plus side, you'll get to know that business well. But on the downside, I worry it could get dull...