Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hello You. Now Please Die.




At last, definitive proof that there is no God. For if there was, he surely would not have allowed this commercial to be made.

P.S. Thanks to everyone who has sent me work for Ambient Week (see yesterday's post). Keep those Ambient ideas coming in to simon dot veksner at bbh dot co dot uk.

68 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, this is fucking poor, i mean really?

What's it all about?

It made me laugh as it's so bad, and Duffy is really starting to piss me off, chubby little warbler.

ahamill said...

I could not agree more. When they aired this after the Brits last night, i had to turn the volume on the tv down to balance out the harsh brassiness of her voice. i don't mind her voice at all, but it sounded terrible here. what's more, what does 'hello you' have to do with diet coke other than the colours of the font? serious error.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've ever heard Duffy. I'm sure I'd remember. Does she actually sing like that all the time. Horrible. Which agency did this?

Anonymous said...

Personally I'm glad this was done by Mother, shows everyone can do a stinker.

Also shows the bigger the brand the more power they have to make the ad shitty.

Anonymous said...

You can tell they've tried to make it "kooky" but it ends up looking horrid.

I reckon it will be hard to find a bigger turkey, this will win Turkey of the year.

james|collier said...

simply, oh dear!

BLOG YELLER said...

I LIKE IT.

John Williams said...

She's got me begging her for mercy.

Hazell said...

You know, it's a bitter line between love and hate. Lest we forget, this is tactical work that needs to be judged within the context it was aired - a fairly parochial awards show. One is left feeling there is nothing truly offensive behind the thought, and it needn't have become the bicycle crash it so clearly is for want of a witless claim, the production values of an Asda commercial, and an audio track that sounded like Duffy was actually on the bike when she laid it down.

Anonymous said...

Although the ad was venial, it tmade me look at Duffy and think, "I'd stick it up her."

Maybe that was what she wanted out of it.

Ratto said...

Oooof.

Robbie said...

Bill Hicks:

Where are you when we need you most?

Tom Morton said...

Remarkable. Diet Coke has agreed to appear in an ad for Duffy.

Anonymous said...

the worst, vilest, most stomach churningly shittiest piece of shitty shit i have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

was that was the longest pack shot at the end or what?

Anonymous said...

Nothing makes me happier than the fact that this utterly dreadful piece of work came from one of the most arrogant and closed minded agencies I've ever come across.

What is the last -great- piece of work from mother?

Stella 4% was utter tosh.

Boots? Good, but hardly going to go down in history

PG Tips? I think they're feeling the squeeze of a one trick monkey.

Anyone?

Anonymous said...

@11.38

I dont work for Mother, wish i did.

But Pablo was fucking great!

Anonymous said...

That is shocking.

I used to fancy her btu she looks like a little warbling heffalump in that. Plus, I never noticed her goat-eye either.

It's pants. If that wins any awards I'm changing career.

Anonymous said...

It's not as bad as the Halifax ad!
Delaney Lund where have you been? "Ooh lets do one of those ads where loads of people all come together and do something, oh and lets put a folk song on it".Yes by all means do one of those ads, but do it before everyone else, not four years after! You bunch of idiots. Jesus! Prest has got his work cut out joining that bunch of muppets.

Anonymous said...

Apart from the general shitfulness of this spot, I have two questions.

1) Where is her bicycle helmet? (It would contravene advertising standards in Oz)

2) Why does the PVC top she's wearing and the overall lighting make her look like some submissive Japanese manga porn character?

Were they aiming to achieve product recall in the spank bank of your average 14 year old boy?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear.
My mothers mother could have done better than that.

So they have ruined stella and coke - what next?

Anonymous said...

It's a good endline. Or at least it was when it was used for travelocity a few years back.

Anonymous said...

OK, this is bad. But it's nowhere near as bad ad that new Peugeot "drive sexy" ad where the woman actually says "fact me."

Anonymous said...

Scamp, and all the others dissing this ad, you are completely not getting it.

To quote the client on Brand republic -"Since the brand launched, it has always celebrated women, their lifestyles, attitudes and aspirations. We're very proud of this new campaign which shows strong and confident women taking control and saying no"

Anonymous said...

I. Do. Not. Understand.
Where's the idea?
What's the strategy?
What's it all about?
It makes no sense to me.

Finally, a piece of work that we all agree on!
REJOICE REJOICE!!!

Anonymous said...

Let me get this right, so the script goes...
duffy gets a coke when she comes off stage, takes a sip, puts it down, and gets on a racing bike, she rides into Asda, not to pick up another coke but to just ride in and out again, a couple of slags see her doing this and then sing as well. She goes back to the stage, the woman hands her the coke again... and once again she puts it down.
All the while shes doing this because she wants to be herself.
Now if i think about an idea where its all about being yourself, that wouldn't be the pile of shit that i would want to write.
or if i was a client that wouldn't be the shit that i would want to make.
As for 'hello you' i'm sure with the right ad, you'd forget how bad the strategy and line actually is.
MAJOR FUCK UP!
SACK THE AGENCY.

Honest John said...

Robbie...

Where is Mr. Remover-of-rhetorical-questions-on-advertising-blogs-which-ask-the-whereabouts-of-a-cancer-killed-comedian-who-if-he-was-here-today-would-do-precisely-diddly-squat-about-this-advert-even-though-aforementioned-rhetorical-question-askers-seem-to-think-he-would-be-some-sort-of-saviour-of-ad-mediocracy?

andrea said...

Not sure if there were any women leaving comments on here but I hate it too because a) we don't go for strolls around supermarkets during gig breaks or generally at any time, EVER b) she may have a nice voice but this is too much for me and c) celebrating 'ordinary women' by using a woman who begged for mercy in her songs is just wrong. Rihanna and her should exchange a word.

Other than that great success, coins 3 prizes at the brits, 5.2m audience or whatever it was, what could Coke want more?

Anonymous said...

Scamp you need to get a life. It's not a great ad, given, but the 'God doesn't exist because he let this ad be made' statement is just sad.

Get some perspective.

Ps Bet you don't publish this either.

Anonymous said...

'Hello you?'

I don't want to turn into a chunky blond Welsh warbler...

I'd keep her whammers tho...

Honest John said...

You censored me Scamp. My mind feels as abused as an Attenborough raped Orangutan.

To put the ad into perspective...

1. We're mainly red-blooded post-25 males who are merely concerned with how much cock Duffy could take.

2. They are talking to young'uns and wuh-mans.

3. Regardless of the ad they will no doubt release the single and score a top ten hit with it. Which will be played in every hairdressers etc around the country.

4. Even if the execution or endline may not be hitting the nail on the head the strategy behind it is at least a departure from Diet Cock break. Which was so tired my pubes puffed up to a Duran Duran fop flop every time some poor prat tried to resurrect it. And even though it wavers into Dove territory of standing strong against the pressures of modern life. It does have legs.

5. Did someone seriously asking where her bicycle helmet is. Really.

Scamp said...

Honest John - I only censored the personal attack bit of your comment (see house rules, top right) I left all the rest. Sorry you feel like a raped monkey.

Anonymous said...

Bye bye Mother.

GOUT-LEGS said...

an orangutan is no monkey scamp...

...attenborough will be rolling in his...erm...colostomy bag juice?

on another note, this is pretty bad. not the worst ad in the world. it's well positioned and a lucky choice of star. but the execution is just plain bad.

apparently the next one is rihanna and leona lewis going toe to toe as chris brown hollars "two divas enter, one diva leaves(with a diet coke)".

Misha said...

I don't think it's mindblowing, but it's ok! It's just saying that with a diet coke you can take a couple of minutes out from whatever situation and feel yourself... Not that complicated!

Have to admit the endline's pretty shit, though it does make sense, kind of...

element404 said...

That's my bike! it got pinched from Bethnal Green road!

Duffy you swine,...... i'll have you!

Bodecker said...

Riding a bike has a similar effect on my voice too. If I cycle on a cobbled street the vibrato really starts to kick in. I don't know who's idea it was to record Duffy when actually riding a bicycle but I think they should have recorded her in the studio then dubbed her in afterwards.

Anonymous said...

it makes me hate diet coke. is that good?

Anonymous said...

Stop sitting on the fence 'Misha'. Its whack! and you know it is, its pure cheese with a sprinkling of parmesan on top.

Anonymous said...

haven't even watched it. i'm sure it's crap but when if you've ever been handed a "here's the celebrity go make the ad brief" sometimes the only solution is to pinch your nose and roll film.

on the upside, messrs waites and calcraft are rolling in it. and very probably rolling in a warmer clime than you or i.

Anonymous said...

Mother Fuckup

Anonymous said...

Nice 3D job on Duffy. She almost looks real!

joeyjoe said...

I'd rather be detained in guantanamo bay. Although I hear it's used during interrogations there...

Does she really sound this bad? As for the ad itself, it's just corporate smaltz from a company trying to play it safe.In fact, I don't think they're even trying. This is first idea sort of stuff with client input thrown in for good measure.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't have to appeal to you to be good.
It has in it elements which are memorable : pretty face, nice voice,catchy tune and it has the sort of catchphrase which sticks in your head.
It was a bit short on Diet Coke exposure and Duffy should practice riding a bike !

Grant said...

Argghhhh my eyes! That is truly appalling.

Catcher In The Rye said...

If there ever was a god, he/she/it/them surely would have loved this awful advert.

//Look at what happens in religious ceremonies.

Anonymous said...

@ GOUT-LEGS:

Does Attenborough really wear a colostomy, or are you merely fantasising?

SPM said...

It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate; it takes guts to be gentle and kind...

Anonymous said...

Well you can all shit off because I would definitely give her one. I bet she's dirty and goes like a goddam bonobo.

GOUT-LEGS said...

SPM...i think you're on the wrong forum.

and yes, attenborough's colostomy bag is infamous.
he even keeps goldfish in there.

Robbie said...

Honest John.

It's not the ad mediocrity I was referring to.

It's what the fuck is happening to the music scene?

Duffy claims to be a serious artist. But no. She's just another corporate whore.

She should be blacklisted from music awards.

Anonymous said...

au contraire 10:21pm, it just takes alot of vocadine.

Anonymous said...

she sounds like a chipmunk

Gordon Comstock said...

You knew the truth about Kate Moss all along did you Scamp?

Guy and Sarah, creatives said...

Although it ain't great, is it as bad as this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4p7kPpzzV0

?

Guy and Sarah.

Rocker Man said...

How can Duffy, her people, her label - ANYONE who has her interests at heart - have signed off on that sound mix?! Assuming that she had to have some say in the matter (surely?) no-one who is trying to protect her career would have said 'yep - that's as good as she gets' to that track.

I mean - the bit where she leaves the supermarket - close your eyes and it's a hamster singing after inhaling helium.

Duffy - you've been let down by people who should know better.

Anonymous said...

I've just been sick in my mouth

Misha said...

I'm not being a fence-sitter, 'Anonymous' (good name, very original). You just don't have to fall in to either 'love it' or 'hate it' camps..., you can just 'not like it'. And peoples argument that it makes no sense clearly wasn't true!
Anyway, scamp's about debate, e.g. We don't need facts in our ads!
Enough bandwagon jumping already! That's why we have so many passé weak ads like this one and the new Halifax etc.

Anonymous said...

i hate this. it s pure artificial cheese. hello you.

golublog said...

I used to like Duffy once upon a time.

Anonymous said...

This is almost..almost..as bad as the Joss Stone flake ad.

George said...

Anyone going to mention the Adidas ad?
It's brilliant.
Great use of celebs.
Great ad.
Great track - It will be number one before the week is out.

Fenton Benton said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MkL5vq08os

This is better.

Anonymous said...

I kept wanting it to turn into a road safety advert.

Was that wrong of me?

Also why isn't she wearing a huge plastic helmet?

Also, also err duffy

Lateefx said...

umm...*SHUDDERRRR*

Anonymous said...

duffy???
why oh why oh why oh...

oh... for the cash?
same as the agency and the director then.
credit crunch my ASS.

pissonduffyad said...

Duffy cannot even ride the bike...she looks about as comfortable as a trussed up warbling piglet on a racer...oh wait...yeh...no er...yeh...yeh that is what I meant...

'Diet Coke' Get it?

Duffy. Diet Coke. Duffy. Diet Coke.

(Better ad would have been Duffy doing the truffle shuffle...while we all piss on her...Heeey yoouu guuys?)

Dean Martyn said...

Don't get it. Is it suppose to be crap? or is it just crap?