Well, it's the day before we break up for Easter and I'm hung-over like a dog.
So let's write poems.
A site called Ad Agency Confessional runs a regular 'Friday haiku'. (For anyone who doesn't know, a haiku is a three-line poem in the form 5 syllables/ 7 syllables/ 5 syllables.)
Here's one they wrote called 'The Account Executive':
Remember to smile.
Give 'em the ol' shuck and jive.
You have people skills.
Okay. Here's my effort:
I got a new brief;
It said: "Wanted. Big idea."
Thank God for YouTube.
Pretty shit, I know. Let's hear yours.
66 comments:
Write a haiku
this is my go
what's a syllable?
I am a planner
I am in love with my brain
And add no value
Three weeks before start
getting very excited
better learn quant now
Account man asks why
The logo can't be bigger
Fuck off cock I sigh
I am an account
handler. I deal with dickheads
all day. Joy joy joy.
Formula One fans
What a bunch of silly cunts
A bit like planners
A look at my book
Do you like what you have seen?
Show me the money
Scamp your blog surely
Is filling up with wankers
From all departments
rob mortimer why
do you think anyone cares
crawl back in your hole
You lot should relax
Some of you are quite angry
The weekend is here
F1 is good
There are more and more crashes
Maybe some death too
Need inspiration,
Look at some blogs,
And break all the rules to do with stuff because it's a cliche thing to do...
The Moonwalking Bear
Stolen From The World Wide Web
Bet They Feel Stupid
a glass and a half,
a gorilla suit as well,
give me awards now
These rhymes are all shit,
If your just starting out then,
Forget it just quit.
Kate Moss is a whore
her twat is always very sore
but her arse aches more
I like to fuck a
lot. Fucking is good so is
coke. fuck me now please.
(up the arse)
i smell my boss
he's an odious
little shit
i want the CEO to say 'you can now go',
So many losers
Lacking the talent to do
A moonwalking bear
Feeling stuck
...
...
Have nothing to say?
Why not slate everyone else.
That's what wankers do.
Carlos mcjizzsplat
It may have been invited
But you've made my point
Wake up late again
Hair matted with semen crust
'Who did that?' I think
When Minghella watched
The English Patient this week
He died of boredom
Too soon?
Scamp as your CD?
Do I look stupid or what
rather work at Grey
roses are redish
violets are blueish, mix them
up and they make purple
my post was removed
why what ever did i say
just offered George love..the man way
Asked: Who is that there?
Reply: Mum wants to be seen
In one of my ads.
Lazy Creatives
With Honey Monster deadline
watched Mighty Boosh.
Easter is welcome.
Thank you Jesus, you good egg,
Dying for our sins.
Many offensive poems
Piss Scamp off enormously.
Stop using cunt/fuck
Writing Haikus is
A piece of piss as long as
They are all this shit.
Drank like a fish
Tired as a badger
Sleepy bye bunny rabbits
5 syllables/ 7 syllables/ 5 syllables.)
Clients business fell
Pointless product can not sell
Begin creative hell
Two weeks are over
And as a student it's hard
But still I will try
Direct Marketing
I chose it for a living
Now I want to die
Look, ads made of felt
I feel so good about life
I work at fallon
Pretty big honor.
Thanks for the link, cross-Pond pals
Made my fuckin' day!
Cheers!
If I talk louder
People will notice me
But they won't hear what i say.
What talent I lack
I try to make up for with
Ironic T-shirts
Murky muddy brain
Quagmire inside demands
Inner peace in morn
Flashy site online
but Your Brand Is Not My Friend™
So no one visits
Here's your brilliant spot
Forty minutes to watch "Lost"
Grab remote and zap
scamp has a good blog
its popularity soars
i should be working
we write online ads
our scripts all come from viz and
yet we have pencils
Girlfriend is asleep
Quiet - play Call of Duty
Ssshh Die German Die!
Viz is the best mag.
When I read it I laugh aloud
Especially to reader's top tips.
Girlfriend is asleep
Quick, wank off on her tits
Then wipe silently.
it is nearly twelve
I haven't finished work yet
so much for easter
Are the ads working?
We cannot possibly tell
So let's just say yes
I don't understand
why Haiku is popular
it's so damn easy
I've said many times
Haiku rarely with me chimes
Only if it rhymes
Look up 'best Haiku ever' on Google and this is on the first page:
http://forums.ytv.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=348688
The mind boggles.
Haikus are great fun
But do not always make sense
Refrigerator
Brief leads to concept
Concept leads to ad campaign
But no-one likes ads.
Juan Cabral makes shit
Scamp readers toss off to it
The monkey plays drums.
Humor spelled with 'u'
Americans get confused
Everyone knows pints.
Clueless toff nice tie
Account Handler drops pants again
Client fucks edit
Planner in edit
Makes a fuckwitted comment.
Gets anally raped.
Adland now awaits
A new post on the Scamp blog.
a tuesday tip, perhaps?
Once I loved this job
Now I simply endure it
(Until the stroke hits)
my logo is big
i am so happy with it
now you are useless
Scamp....
First rule of blogging...
Never remove comments, no matter how gross, that just allows the poster to think they have fucked with your head. All your loyal fans will think the better of you for allowing dickheads to do that. Are you going to be at the "PubFest" Conference in London on the 17th?
Cheers/George
Hi George. I don't mind people slagging me off, or each other. I only ask that they do it with a little wit, and not too much obscenity. This place has gone so far downhill already!
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