Creative Director Wanted

Rubber Republic, a London-based viral ad agency, are hiring a CD for their Bristol office.

They're the people that made this tongue-in-cheek campaign to promote the creative industries in the South West:



Job info here.

Atheism Update

As a personal project, I've started a campaign to promote atheism. Here's the website.

Submissions are very welcome; this is my pick of the latest batch:






I was inspired by the British Humanist Association's plan to create an atheist bus campaign.

I had a couple of meetings with them, along with the media agency, Naked, and shared some ideas, but it now looks like we won't be working together. They're a cool bunch of people, but they have decided to commit all the funds raised by their campaign to the original bus-side concept.

I still want to promote atheism in other ways; it looks like I am just going to have to do it myself, guerrilla stylee.

To that end, Scowling A.D. and I have a meeting with a very talented director tomorrow morning, to discuss shooting this script as a test:

We open in a typical large bookshop, e.g. Waterstone’s. Maybe we’re upstairs.

There are quite a few customers milling around, and one member of staff.

When the member of staff goes off somewhere, the ‘customers’ all swing into action. Each of them pulls out two or three copies of the bible (same edition), and place them on the Fiction table (there’s a sign clearly marked Fiction), then they scurry away.

We film the reactions of normal customers and members of staff, when they see this new display.

Title: DiscoverAtheism.Info

I think this could make for an amusing and thought-provoking piece of film, something akin to the style of Whopper Freakout. Incidentally, this was also written by a U.S.-based team.

I'll keep you informed of how it goes.

Exciting News If You're A Fan Of Either Fallon, Kaka, Or Zoetropes

Euro ad-blogger Dabitch has all the info you could want about the shooting of the next Sony Bravia ad.

Friday Poll - How Hard Are You Trying?

This week's poll, suggested by J, looks at effort.

Are you busting your balls? Or are you coasting? Or something in-between? Vote now, in the right hand column of this blog.

And on the wider question... are the most successful creatives the ones who are trying the hardest? Or is it better to be more laid-back?

Previous Polls


P.S. Comment moderation is now on. I met up with Ben of If This Is A Blog... the other day and he said it was working out really well for him. So I'm going to try it. Also, please note change to comment policy. Personal attacks no longer allowed. We can still critique work, but not each other. Goal isn't to make this place more boring, just more positive.

Today's Quote From 'Murder Must Advertise'

This is a quote from a "dyspeptic" senior copywriter called Mr Copley: "He had always said that the younger generation of advertising writers were No Good. Feather-headedness. No solid business sense. No thought."

Not Voodoo

I've discovered a rather good new blog called Not Voodoo, by an advertising creative who uses the pseudonym 'Gordon Comstock'.

And here are three examples of his writing:

If you were the Chapman brothers (both of them, so you wouldn’t have to argue about it) you could do a series of poor copies of adverts, or even just copies of ads taken from YouTube, and sell them for millions as studies of the relation between commercial ideas and ideas that sell. It wouldn’t be good, or even original, art, but it would really annoy advertising people.

Recently my Art Director produced a visual for charity ad that was so unpleasant anyone seeing it involuntarily recoiled in shock. We were all ready to do it, but at the final moment discovered that, like most unpleasant things you’d really like to do, it had already been done in France.

I was put in mind of a cyber-spat I had with Neil Boorman, erstwhile Shoreditch Twat, about his book the Bonfire of the Brands. I'd picked a fight with him based on the fact that he was using Facebook, a brand, a rather big brand, to promote his anti-brand book. He clocked that I worked in advertising and basically told me to fuck off, saying sarcastically, "actually you're right, I really want to work in advertising, this whole burning all my possessions thing is just an attempt to get my book in at Mother."

It's a blog worth keeping an eye on, I reckon.

Today's Quote From 'Murder Must Advertise'

"The new copy-writer - Miss Rossiter was saying he was potty."
"They're all potty in that department, if you ask me," said Mr Harris. "Children. Arrested development."

As Heard On A Shoot

Sent to me by a very senior production company person, who stresses that he loves working with ad agencies, and this is just a bit of fun:

The map is wrong, how do they expect us to get to the location? Look, they mis-spelled my fucking name! What happens if it rains? That’s all they do is drive trucks? I have to have coffee. Don’t they have chairs for us? When you’re lit the client would like to look through the lens. Are we going to see that cross on the film? Can they make her look more French? Can she hold it closer to her face? It looks like something’s on fire. We forgot the product – have you got a runner who can go to the shops? He did it in casting. Can we make the product larger? Why does it look so dark? Can we pause on the bite? Is the video guy asleep? Unfortunately we don’t have the right pack but we can fix that in post can’t we? I liked it better in the animatic. Which one is the eyepiece? What am I looking at? The client is very sensitive about that - I don’t think we should bring it up. Where is my Evian? Nobody told me. When is lunch? He doesn’t care what it costs, he’s not fucking paying for it! Why isn’t she smiling? I hope we’re not having Italian, we had Italian yesterday. Where are they going to put the camera next? It worked fine in the test kitchen. Can you find me a charger? Is this the same guy we cast? That’s not what we discussed in the PPM. Can the Client get his hair cut? Can we cast a model with size three shoes... like me? Can we shoot it both ways? Can’t we get wi-fi up here? Breakfast was beautiful. The drinks are great but tomorrow could you serve the client’s product instead? What is the call time for us? Where’s the best restaurant? How do we get to the hotel? Do you need us anymore?

Do they mean us? I rather fear that they do...

How many have you said?

Today's Quote From 'Murder Must Advertise'

"Truth in advertising", announced Lord Peter, "is like leaven, which a woman hid in three measures of meal. It provides a suitable quantity of gas, with which to blow out a mass of crude misrepresentation into a form that the public can swallow."

Girl Sucks Up Her Own Vomit

This 'use a condom' commercial by DLKW is super well directed, and I love the 2 (two!) scenes where the girl sucks up her own vomit - genuinely haven't seen that before - but something about the ad bothers me.

I think it's this: there's no reason why the ad should run backwards. Compare with a legit use of the device - an old ad for BT that showed an engineer 'unsnipping' phone lines because thousands of people were 'coming back' to BT.

Anyway, it's rude to criticise without being constructive. So here's how I would have constructed the ad: there's a great visual parallel here between the alcohol-induced vomit and the pregnancy-induced vomit. That tells the whole story. Put the first one at the beginning and the second one at the end, and suddenly you've got a structure that makes sense.

My version's better, right? I would put it together myself on iMovie, but I haven't got that much time on my hands.

Murder Must Advertise

On the recommendation of Russell, I've been reading 'Murder Must Advertise', the 1933 novel by Dorothy L Sayers.

The plot features a mega-posh amateur detective called Lord Peter Wimsey, who goes undercover in an ad agency after one of the creatives gets murdered.

As one might expect, he finds copywriting terribly easy, and they're rather sorry to see him go once he's solved the murder. (I won't bore you with the details of the actual crime, or the laughable sub-plot concerning advertisement headlines being used as code for a gang of drug dealers).

But Sayers herself worked as a copywriter for seven years, and I was curious to see if any of the ad stuff would resonate today.

It does. Here are the words of warning that creative director Mr Hankin gives Lord Peter on his first day at the agency: "You'll soon find that the biggest obstacle to good advertising is the client."

1933, folks.

The Campaign A List

They say no one reads the A List apart from the people who are in the A List.

But I did. And I've rootled out the funny(ish) bits, for you.

What would you change about yourself? I'd have a tail (Graham Fink)

Best thing about your job? The frisson of staff fear as I stride to my desk every morning (Leon Jaume)

Worst thing about your job? The constant backdrop of distant, mocking laughter (Leon Jaume)

The biggest lie you've ever told? The one about advertising (Trevor Beattie)

What would you change about yourself? My constant fucking swearing (Ringan Ledwidge)

Your USP? Tits and balls (Kate Stanners)

If you could be anyone else in the business, who would it be? I'd have Beattie's head, Davidson's gut and Craigen's hollow legs. I'd be a fucking ripsnorting ad monster (Ben Walker)

Advice for a wannabe A Lister Work every weekend (Tim Delaney)

The Ten Biggest Cocks And She-Cocks In Advertising... Ever

Following on from this and this, angry genius Charlie Brooker has made another damn funny programme about advertising. Well worth watching the whole thing via BBC iPlayer here.

In case you can't, here's Charlie on a 1970's Twix advert:

Anyone who fails to buy a chocolate bar that can be easily shared with attractive members of the opposite sex is a girlfriendless loser destined to catch the bus home and spend the evening wanking and tying a noose.

On the acting seen in ads:

There's a whole range of facial expressions that human beings never pull in real life, only in commercials. Expressions which register emotions like 'good value'

On the Gold Blend couple:

Stop talking about coffee and start fucking.

And on advertising in general:

5x worse than the Nazis.

Ah yes, but we can laugh at ourselves. So maybe we're not quite as bad as Hitler's mob...

Thanks to ben for the tip

Tuesday Tip No.66 - How To Write Endlines

Civilians think that 'coming up with slogans' is our whole job.

And in a way, they have a point.

The slogan, that much-derided term, is the complete encapsulation of a campaign or brand idea. Ideally it distills everything important that a company stands for, and acts as a springboard for great communications.

So endlines are important. Which makes the ability to write good ones a valuable skill to have.

Lines win pitches. They build brands. And they create fame for the person who wrote them.

I always thought it would be a bold move for a creative team to have a tiny portfolio with just 8-10 pages in it, and on each page nothing but a campaign endline they'd come up with.

The first thing to do is be absolutely clear about what you are trying to say.

"Australians wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else" says 'Australian'
"Finger lickin' good" says 'delicious'
"The appliance of science" says 'advanced'

Don't even start trying to write an endline until you've got what you want to say down to one word.

From there, it's about applying dem old-fashioned copywritin' skills to express that concept in a new and interesting way.

Here's a few devices you can deploy:

1. Insight. The KFC line is a good example of this. What do you actually do when you find something delicious? You lick your fingers. Think about what people actually do when they use the product.

"Let your fingers do the walking" is another example, coincidentally it's also finger-related. The line says 'convenient'. And it works because of the insight that when you use the Yellow Pages, you go through it with your fingers.

2. Zingy language. Rhyme, alliteration and neology (coining new words) all help. "Beanz Meanz Heinz" is just so much more memorable than "Heinz - the definitive baked beans" isn't it?

3. Words with two meanings. Of the 20 endlines that Adslogans nominated for slogan of the year 2007/8, no fewer than 6 of them employed words with double meanings, including the excellent "Be humankind" for Oxfam, and "Get some nuts" for Snickers. So, think about the words related to your product, and whether any of them have additional meanings that you can use to your advantage.

And if you have a method that you use in writing endlines, do share it in the comments.


Previous Tips

Break The Cycle

Following Hunting, which opened the debate, here's the next film in our Barnardo's campaign.



Director: Jeff Labbe
Creatives: Nick Allsop, Nick Gill, Dominic Goldman, Simon Veksner
Creative Director: Nick Gill

There's digital activity too.

It's Goodnight From Vando

Vando, Sydney-based writer of The Jason Recliner, has announced the 'final recline'.

Knowing there's no coming back has let the already-candid Vando truly let rip.

Transmedia planning is described as: "a wank... just a fancy term for coming up with a well rounded media plan."

Second Life: "Not only is it weird, it's dying."

And on trade magazines: "do we really need... weekly mags where everyone in advertising talks about each other and bla bla bla. At the end of the day, if a Creative Director at Watkins, Spruce and Gribley thinks a competitive ad for Fruit Loops is crap, who gives a shit. Ad folk could spend more time educating their clients rather than their colleagues, but that doesn't win new business does it?"

Goodbye Vando, you'll be missed.

The Marketing Blogs section of my sidebar's looking rather threadbare. Anyone know any good ones?

Sony Balls On Steroids

There's something weirdly compelling about this.

Carnival Cruise Lines dropped a giant beach ball in Dallas to break a record for the world's largest beach ball, and made an ad out of it.

I don't know what it is about giant objects... but they're just great, aren't they?

Oh, and why is it that in advertising you need to have either one big thing (PlayStation giant ball idents, British Airways 'Manhattan') or many small things (Sony Balls, Big Yellow 'Tide')?

Thanks to DW for the tip

The Goat That Ate Its Own Legs

I wrote a post a couple of months ago about ad people who have written books.

Well, now we have a new name for the list.

Alex Burrett, formerly top radio producer at BBH, has written what sounds like a cracking book of short stories called My Goat Ate Its Own Legs.

Characters in the tales include the ex’s of both God and Death, a dog addicted to cocaine, a couple who literally merge through the intensity of their mutual lust, and another who eat their kids. Plus the goat that ate its own legs.

The cover has a bite chewed out of it. I like that.

A Terrifying Counter-Theory

A colleague has just sent me this oldish but influential article on Low Involvement Processing, by Robert Heath.

The article makes two main conclusions: one good for us, one terrifying.

The good one is that Heath believes emotional advertising is far more effective than rational messaging.

"I believe... the majority of successful UK advertising campaigns... do not succeed by getting over rational performance-based messages, but by building up simple yet potent associations and linking them to brands."

We can all be happy about that, can't we? No more 'science bit' that the client makes us put in and is delighted with, and which everyone else completely ignores.

However, the reason Heath prefers emotional advertising is because he reckons ads are 'low involvement processed', i.e. consumers aren't paying active conscious attention to ads and so don't pick up facts and rational stuff, but do pick up feelings and associations.

And the conclusion we must draw from that is it doesn't really matter whether your ad is 'noticed' or not.

We all talk constantly about the need to 'stand out', 'get noticed', 'get talked about'.

I've even written about how there's no point doing an ad that looks like something people have seen before, since they'll just screen it out, in the same way that early man screened out 'that rock' and 'that tree', and would only notice 'holy shit, a sabre-toothed tiger' things he had not seen before.

But maybe being noticed doesn't matter, as long as you create the right associations.

I'm reminded of this piece by Jon Howard that talked about an ad for Amoy sauce which generated virtually no awareness, but a big sales uplift. The ad was 'invisible', but worked.

If true, this is all a bit worrying, isn't it?

"They're feral, cruel and ruthless"

Director: Jeff Labbe; Copywriter: Scamp; Art Director: Scowling A.D.; Creative Director: Nick Gill

This piece of film we made for children's charity Barnardo's was released this morning; it's had coverage on BBC Breakfast TV, the Today programme on Radio 4, and others, which I'm delighted about.

I've always been interested in language and use of language, so it was gratifying to get an idea out which is on that theme.

Here's the link to the BBC's online coverage, plus they've opened up a forum on the subject, which has attracted over 900 comments (as at 11.30am). Obviously not everyone will agree with what we're saying, but it's great to see a proper debate about society's changing attitude towards children.