I've never met him, but I love the sound of Jonathan Durden - the 'D' in media giant PHD.
He once spent 18 days in the Big Brother house, had his drink and drug problems chronicled by the tabloids, and sold himself as an escort “for the hell of it”. And his life has been touched by tragedy.
Now he's written a novel, which contains a lot of fun material, but he apparently confessed to writing it in a month, which sorta shows.
Sample sentence: "He had hugged her with gratitude, since dealing with medical emergencies (along with cleaning up bodily fluids) filled him with an urgent desire to rush to the nearest airport and book a one-way flight to Gdansk, Bolivia or Alaska."
Not terrible, but Nabokov's position is safe.
I just wish he'd written "Alaska, Peru or Gdansk." In a list of three, you don't have two place-names ending in 'a'. And it's so much better to end on a stressed syllable.
Whoops.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Essex, Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll
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51 comments:
Books are so passe. It's all about the podcasts. Who wants to read something that use to be made of a lovely tree anyway! You tree murderers! The shame.
Scamp, btw, I got 152 views today, after posting those really annoying comments! Are you proud of me?! Did I beat you?!!
I love your blog and this internet malarky is pretty neat...
Your link's busted. But yes, that Giles Coren's a bit of an ass. I agree with him, but still.
Totally proud, cosmotic. But you didn't beat me.
Thanks anon for pointing out busted link I have fixed it.
Ha. It's now 162! Have I beaten you now? Perhaps they can create a new category at the D&AD awards for the highest number of viewings for a blog...
(Btw, I feel so happy. Scamp has spoken. And it was to ME. A real life, famous creative, who's been in Campaign!Life, surely can't get any better.)
cosmotic, are you ten?
I just ask because I was on the American Beauty part of IMDB and someone asked how old everyone was (AB fans). The commonest answers were 14 and 16. No one over 30. What does that tell you? Christ knows? Except that I am old.
Oh, and if you multiply your views by at least ten you might be somewhere near Scamp's.
Ben. I am, in actual fact 26. But I'm a girl, so I guess that means I'm 30, in boy-years ;-p.
I'm not sure how you can quantify a view, so please let me know, in your own time, how I can create a view which is ten time bigger. Have you ever seen a view? Was it square? Or perhaps it was rectangular?!!
Jonathan's a lovely bloke and very talented, although as a role model, he's pretty piss poor. Always had time for the little people and new talent, which is A Good Thing.
Ok.
It was a bit fun (just a tinny bit) yesterday, but now it's just bloody annoying.
Cosmogirl, 162 views is shit and no one cares about your blog.
Wow! He's so cool! He's had addiction problems. He's my new idol! He's a cool dude!
All you fallon haters can throw your shit at asda, orange and that fruity sweets ad. they might be shit, yes but you can't judge an agency's entire creative output on 3 ads.
All I'm saying is, Juan has another Sony missile under his sleeve. 10 times better than Gorilla. John & Chris are shooting probably the best ad of their careers. All these while you were mocking two ads no one cares inside the agency.
So sit tight, boys and girls. Your self esteem is about to be reduced to rubble.
Again.
Durden may well be a lovely bloke, but he can't write for shit--that extract Campaign published a month or so ago was beneath piss-poor.
Still, he lends a certain faux-edginess to an otherwise vanilla MCBD
I thought it was a good read.
Very funny in places.
Your stressed syllable observation made me chuckle.
Keep up the good work Mr Veksner.
An old Saatchi colleague.
is it you, r?
re: just read...
maybe.
are you, m?
Holla!
I'm Juan's papa and I can confirm his new script is really good.
right. let's get back to business. that fucking shane meadows ball-sack expulsion is pick of the week...
rim my hoop and buy me a milkshake. ridiculaaaas.
byeeeeee.xxxx.
what's the idea of that ad?
I mean...It doesn't hurt to look at, but it's miles away from being a good advert.
If that Adda ad was directed by some no-mark then no one would give a flying fuck, the fact it's directed by Meadows is the only reason it got pick of the week by some clueless doris in Campaign. What a joke.
Dear haters and fallon juniors,
Yes, that asda ad is shit. Yes, Juan next effort will probably make us feel like bumping into ron jeremy in the sauna.
Now, please can we move on to discuss something more constructive? Or at least share porn links?
PICK OF THE WEEK?
That's a fucking insult for the entire industry.
In the words of a man much wiser than me 'We're all dead".
If you want a thoroughly enjoyable book by an advertising person (sort of) try Fast and Louche by Jeremy Scott. It will make you
a) Wish you'd been in advertising in the good old days
b) Read Marcus Aurelius
c) Really fucking jealous
If not, read PG Wodehouse. It will make you a better writer.
"The use of Shane Meadows looks fairly essential. Being an expert in filming British culture it would seem natural that he shoots this so it doesn't fall on the wrong side of the fence. Clever stuff."
(taken from campaign's website)
Yes it's a thoroughly enjoyable book.
What's weird is that in the eyes of campaign, ASDA's turd is actually better than Orange's effort. That's our industry's critics for you.
Me thinks Orange is at least trying to be different. Not good but at least trying. That shane meadows ad is detergent advertising from the 70's minus the pack shot.
But then what do I know, I'm just the tea lady typing this on the laptop of an ECD while he's having a wank in his porsche.
You're right anon. No one cares. My blog isn't as good as scamps. My scamps aren't as good as scamp's scamps.
But what the hell, it was mildly entertaining, and it got me through the tedium of writing my dissertation. Bye for now. I'll leave you guys with a bit of peace and quiet. xxx
It just shows you. One man's shit is another man's shiny gong. And how vested interests play a good part in deciding what is good or not. And thus that getting an award these days is about as rewarding as a pissed wank.
Scamp, you probably didn't have much to do in it but I like that new Levis campaign.
Live unbuttoned. Nice line. Not as good as 'originals never fit' but still good.
Lies is the best. Not that your collages will care but tell them an anonymous cunt liked them. That'll suffice.
PS. That Asda ad is a turd sitting in a pissed Soho corner.
Good question.
If Asda is pick of the week, where does that leaves Orange?
Next pick of the week: BT Broadband.
There's more humanity in 1 frame of that ad than in most of what you've done in your entire careers. Bitter losers.
Thumbs up, Fallon! You've shown us yet again that art and advertising are not that far from each other.
Anon 10:04 AM you obviously don't know shit.
ok. the juniors are here again trying to defend their turd. God, I'm fucking bored of all of you.
sfx: closes door. opens drawer. gun shot.
cosmoticentity- please, please go away.
the art and advertising comment
hahahahaha
oh my.
GET A SOUL
Talking of BT broadband
The lad in that commercial didn't waste any time in dropping BT for Wanknet or whatever it was called in the new commercial.
Can't blame him.
Scamp, remove that post immediately!
He called that stupid cunt a stupid cunt.
I'm the 'stupid cunt' he is referring to and I'm not offended. You don't have to remove any comments.
I stand by my comment. The guy knows shit all about advertising or cinematography.
That Asda ad has the emotional depth of used loo roll.
12.20
Who or what are you? I'm very curious...
Go get some Vaseline, boys.
Juan's script has been approved by the client.
Enough of all this Asda talk, we should be getting down to the real topic of the day: Levis.
Just out of interest Scamp, does the creative department get involved in the TV anymore, or do they simply just let the client and the director come up with a load of self-indulgent shite that makes no sense to anyone??
'Live unbuttoned' What complete toss.
At least your campaign had a thought in it Scamp, this is nothing more than fluff and products.
Sounds like a junior from you know where. That c*** comment would be appropiate then.
Dude, if you're behind that turd, just pull the chain twice and pray for it to sink quickly. That Campaign exposure is not precisely a good thing.
12:34 PM Levi's is brilliant. Asda isn't. Live with it, mate. Good think you're asking us to forget your own work.
I know you won't be slagging off your own peers here but, any opinions on that new levi's campaign, S?
That Asda ad is SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
Jeez, I feel so much better now.
scamp how much of this books content focuses on essex? if its 90% i might consider stealing it this afternoon from waterstones?
Do people read Scamp's bLog for the artcles any more or just to rehash the arguments from previous post comments? If the latter is true then why don't we just create www.adbile.com, the anonymous forum where people can attack whatever they like?
Perhaps a poll question for next week? Or maybe the truth would hurt?!
PS - I read your bLog for the articles :)
Jonathan Durden here. Ta for the various opinions. I am having a go at writing and personally backing my efforts as an investment in myself.The novel is intended purely as a holiday read,probably from airports like Stanstead, and I know it is not going to win a Booker prize ever. I am going to make a movie from it, which it may be well suited. Frankly, after being seen farting on BB8 in front of a million viewers, i can endure any humiliation even if i fall flat on my face.
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